Creeva’s World 2.0

I was sort­ing out my old emails archives since I can now import them into gmail via imap — no more wor­ry­ing about los­ing a .pst file — and I found this gem that some of you may find amusing:

A cow­boy was herd­ing his herd in a remote pas­ture when sud­denly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The dri­ver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sun­glasses and YSL tie, leans out the win­dow and asks the cow­boy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The cow­boy looks at the man, obvi­ously a yup­pie, then looks at his peace­fully graz­ing herd and calmly answers, “Sure. Why not?”

The yup­pie parks his car, whips out his Dell note­book com­puter, con­nects it to his AT&T cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Inter­net, where he calls up a GPS satel­lite nav­i­ga­tion sys­tem to get an exact fix on his loca­tion which he then feeds to another NASA satel­lite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the dig­i­tal photo in Adobe Pho­to­shop and exports it to an image pro­cess­ing facil­ity in Ham­burg, Ger­many. Within sec­onds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot
that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL data­base through an ODBC con­nected Excel spread­sheet with hun­dreds of com­plex for­mu­las. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Black­berry, and after a fewmin­utes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, minia­tur­ized HP Laser­Jet printer and finally turns to the cow­boy and says, “You have exactly 1586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,“says the cow­boy. He watches the young man select one of the ani­mals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the
trunk of his car.

Then the cow­boy says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your busi­ness is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a sec­ond and then says,“Okay, why not?”

“You’re a con­sul­tant.” says the cowboy.

“Wow! That’s cor­rect,” says the yup­pie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guess­ing required,” answered the cow­boy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a ques­tion I never asked; and you
don’t know any­thing about my business.”

“Now give me back my DOG.”