Sometimes in my weaker moments I am the writer I have always aspired to be. I had always yearned to self publish and with the lucky era I live in it is much cheaper then it was when I first dreamed of it. Technology has enabled us in strange ways. It allows us to look forward and back with digital clarity that was not before possible.
I believe though that the digital clarity that is our life can be muddled and found to be lacking in it’s brilliance. Because of that I attempt to maintain and capture my digital essence to try and understand the context that is me. It allows me to look back and see the despair and troubles that drove me to a slight unobjectionable madness. The beauty of life that feels like a moment that I can share only with my wife. Sharing the moments all to yourself though allow for the hollowness that is lack of existence to fester within giving an experience that comes out lacking. For this I am grateful, happy, and forever in love with my wife
Never has man before attempted to save himself and preserve his data with such success then in the day we live in. That is why I’m proud to be a modern man. A modern man in some regards is a great thing, but learning and completing a well rounded education that can peaked as high as possible is what we should strive to do. I understand computers, their faults and strengths. The vulnerabilities that plague them and how to minimize any disease they may catch along the digital pathways. I can repair a car with the sweat on my brow raining down and stinging into my eye. I can play music on a variety of Instruments to a degree that can at least satisfy myself. A modern renaissance man, I am.
My friends and everyone I have met along this journey we call life should be celebrated and embraced. I may not keep in contact with them as often as I should – if I do at all – but I can say they all helped shaped me in one way or another. Some of it was for the better, some for the worse. I can say I wouldn’t trade a moment with any of them or modify the ways they helped shape me. I am the man I am today because of them and for that they will all always be cherished. For those I don’t keep in contact with I apologize, for those I do maintain in touch with, I am deeply deeply sorry.
While you can read through what I have saved, collected, written, or filmed. You will never get the full picture. From my point of view I can not truly say if I envy you or if I should show you pity. Regardless of the fact of whatever it is, what can best sum me up is a poem I wrote more then a decade and a half ago:
The sky is blue
The grass is screen
To bad you’ll never see things
As through my eyes they are seen.
Brent M. Gueth aka Creeva Murkado
P. S. I hope this answered everything and nothing from the questions you wished to utter to the imaginings in your head.