I’ll start this with saying I have 3 sisters and 4 brothers, each unique from one another, each I have a different relationship with. I am the oldest in my family and ironically I’m closest with the fourth in line – one of my sisters. My sisters that is third in line I have really talked to that often. Basically there is no tension of family issues there, talking about it last night we’re just kind of nuetral towards each other. There isn’t the tension that I have with my brother directly behind me or she has with my sister directly behind her.
We had dinner last night and had a moment we haven’t had in a long time. We discussed my relationship with my mother, which is strained since I have refused to talk to her for 14-15 months now. My sister did her dutiful job of trying to keep the peace and I brought it up to get it out of the way in the beginning of the night and not let it be the 900 lb. gorilla in the room. She stated that I should give my mother a chance and I relayed my side of the story and thoughts on the issue. After we got that out of the way she seemed more at ease.
It took a good 30-45 minutes for her to be comfortable talking with me. Before she was I asked the simple question if she was happy. She said yes. I told her that’s all I want for, just like any of my family. We caught up on all the problems and mundanity of normal life, the things you would mention in passing to a friend but you don’t get out when it’s someone you don’t talk with too often. We discussed her finally getting online and options so we could keep in touch more often and readily. Both of us haven’t gone out of our way to spend time together.
We discussed the problems and triumphs in our individual relationships and the things we had been through the last few years. I pointed out to her that we hadn’t had time or availability to talk alone in eleven years. The last time we hung out for more then a couple minutes without significant others or family around was the family vacation to Florida we took. I had allowed her to tag along with me for the day at Universal Studios. To put this in perspective she was ten years old at the time and if I had asked her if she was happy then it wouldn’t have the broad implications that asking it today does.
At the end of the night we had to part ways. She was called into work and I had community band practice. We discussed trying to do this once a month for the days that I manage to make it up north specifically for community band. My current monthly schedule works out as thus:
- Once a month with my grandparents
- Once a month with my second in line sister
- Once a month with my third in line sister
- Once a month with friends in that area of the world.
So I’ve added a bit more meaning and family into my life as part of my stint into community band. I’m glad to be getting to know my sister again. I’m grateful she is happy. Hopefully we’ll gain some of the closeness that I have with my other sister as time goes on.