Would Charles Still Be In Charge?

May 6, 2008

by — Posted in Media

One of my best friend’s agrees with me that Charles in Charge was one of the greatest shows ever made.   It ranks up there with Mr. Belvedere and Growing Pains.    It was true sitcom bliss.   One thing that we found odd is that they freaking switched families between season one and season two.   Now you think, well he got a job with another family.  That may be correct, but it’s the same freaking house.

Did the realtor go through and list the house as having a “Charles in charge” as a feature?

“Over here we have the washer and dryer and in the room beneath the stairs is where the Charles is located”

“The Charles?”

“Yes, yes the Charles. “

“What the heck is a Charles?”

“He’s a new boy in the neighborhood.  He lives downstairs and it’s understood that he’s there to take good care of the family.   He is even trained to act as one of the family if you accept him in.   He  can be in charge of your days and your life.   You can have Charles in charge of you.”

“That’s fantastic, we’ll take the house.”

That’s the only way it could have gone down.   My wife already thinks that my friend and myself both have man crushes on Charles, so there was no way I could have bought a house with a Charles in it.   I just want him to be in charge of household tasks it wouldn’t have to go beyond that.    Maybe I would have him do some cooking to ease the household strain, but absolutely no Buddy’s would be coming over.

Moving on.

Let’s move into modern day.  Jan a lovely teenage girl receives a notification

Jan’s MYSPACE CHAT: Whu R U

CHARLESINCHARGE MYSPACE CHAT: I’m a new boy in the neighborhood just trying to meet the familes.

Jan’s MYSPACE CHAT: Wat U Want wit tat?

CHARLESINCHARGE MYSPACE CHAT: I’m looking for a place where I can live downstairs in the people’s basements

Jan’s MYSPACE CHAT: LOL, we have a basement my brother keeps his trains down there

CHARLESINCHARGE MYSPACE CHAT:  You have a brother?

Jan’s MYSPACE CHAT: nd a sis that’s 17, I’m 16 and hez 10.

CHARLESINCHARGE MYSPACE CHAT: Hey can I come check out your basement?

Jan’s MYSPACE CHAT: dunno my rents rn’t hom

CHARLESINCHARGE MYSPACE CHAT:  I can just come over and wait for them, they’ll think of me as one of the family.

Jan’s MYSPACE CHAT: K, come over my address is 1435 Main, I’ll leave the door unlocked.

CHARLESINCHARGE MYSPACE CHAT: Ok, I’ll bring my friend Buddy with me.  Is that ok?

Jan’s MYSPACE CHAT: wutevr

Charles (looking like the picture at the start of this post) and Buddy then arrive over at Jan’s house and discover that it is a “Catch a Predator Special”.    Chris Hansen would sit Charles down and it would go over something like this:

Chris: So Charles you came here expecting what from this teenage girl?

Charles:  I’m just a new boy in the  neighborhood and looking to live downstairs somewhere.

Chris:  And what do you expect to do downstairs?

Charles:  Chris I  know what your thinking, but this is innocent.   I want to live downstairs and it would be understood, I’d be there to take good care of the kids.

Chris:  What do you mean by care?

Charles:  You know I would be part of the family.   I would be in charge of their days and their lives.   They want Charles in charge of them.

Chris:  You do realize you referred to yourself in the third person.

Charles:  Hey Chris, respect the fact that Charles is in Charge.

Chris:  How do you explain the fact that your friend “Buddy” was bringing in a beer keg on a red wagon?

Charles:   I think I need to talk to a lawyer now.

No I don’t think Charles could exist in the same context today as it did all those years ago.   The especially creepy thing is that he stayed with the house when they switched out families completely.   I’ll still enjoy the occasional sitcom joy of watching Charles in Charge and when my friend finally makes it over to hang out we’ll do a Charles in Charge marathon, but I’m not sure that a family just moving in would trust their two teenage daughters and their pre-teen son with this guy on a daily basis.

Maybe it’s all me and in my head, but would you want Charles in Charge of you today?

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