While I lived in Oregon, a lot of my life was peaceful on the family front. I only spoke to my mother maybe a dozen times tops while I lived there. I didn’t have to deal with her drama on a weekly or daily basis. I was 2500 miles away and it was easy to avoid. Just don’t pick up the phone. That part is really easy for me, since I hardly notice the phone or pick it up naturally unless I’m on the clock and the phone could be work.
I either had to deal with family emergencies or the occasional holiday call. i didn’t talk to any of the family with regularity until I was traveling for work, at that point I was talking mostly with my father. Occasionally I would call and end up talking to one of my sisters. They would tell me of what my mother was doing to them. Some of it was exaggeration, some of it was deserved, but some of it was not.
In the few occasions I thought my mother took it too far, I called my grandmother.and tried to get her to intercede on my sister’s behalf. Sometimes she didn’t believe me, seeing how her daughter couldn’t do anything like that. Other times she said she had talked to her about it and couldn’t take it further. Neither of my grandparents are bad people. They both have my love and complete devotion. They are just in denial over what my mother actually does.
Neither of them are callous. They have both earned my respect. My grandmother once even told me that they have enabled my mother to be helpless and rely on other people. She also said it was a mistake and never intentional.
So while in Oregon life was good. The stress of family was at the lowest point ever, I didn’t worry about it. I’m almost there again.