My Family Is Too Bashful To Leave Comments

February 13, 2009

by — Posted in Family and Friends

So out of all my writing that I know my family reads, they are reluctant to comment (granted my mother has good reason since I would turn it around).   they don’t want to go on record, they want to keep harmony better then I do, or they don’t really like me.   Whatever the reason I know I have a few siblings and a couple parents (since I assume my mother does check in occasionally and curses me under her breath) that read my site.   Yet the comments are few and far between if at all.   I do hear after something has been published for awhile, what facts or figures I managed to get wrong (mostly it’s details that don’t matter).  My father is good at this, and normally I don’t call him out (Hi Dad!).

I may have changed his mind a bit though, last time we talked I mentioned to in some ways this will be the only recorded history going forward.   That he needs to tell things in his point of view or they will be lost.   That if I’m wrong already one generation after him, what are his great-great grandkids going be?  They won’t have a magical insight that I was wrong, they will take it at face value.  So while my family are alive it is their responsibility to set things right, otherwise my word is truth.

I’m happy to be called out.  I’m happy to be told my facts are not quite right.   I would love to prove something isn’t my imagination (which sometimes I think they believe I make this stuff up).  I do hope that even though they don’t comment, they gain a memory back.   I amuse them.  I give them a smile for their day.  I’m also sure I give them a few curse words that cross their lips.

Yes writing about my family is cathartic to me, and I go to it when I crutch.   I don’t write exclusively about my family, since I write about whatever is happening in the moment in my head.   So I don’t expect them to comment everything I write – if my youngest sister started commenting on my article of things you should have ready before talking to a consultant I would wonder why?  I don’t need pity comments.

I’m also going to encourage them for keeping the family history going forward by emailing my upcoming child.   What do they want to tell him? What if they get hit by a bus tomorrow?   The best time to get this stuff down is today.   If my mother wants to email my son (which she’ll have to get the address from my sister), she is welcome to – I have no reason to censor it even if she would bad mouth me at all.   That’s for him, not for me.   When he is old enough and can read, he will have the keys to the email kingdom and can decide what he wants to do from there.   Will he cherish and protect the memories or will he delete them, putting all of our thoughts into digital oblivion?  I can only do the best to save his family’s history from my point of view, and I’m sure I still won’t be able to give him all the answers he or his descendants may have.

When he is born he will have 3 cousins, 5 uncles, 4 aunts, 6 grandparents, and 4 great grandparents still living.   To put that in perspective when I was born I had 0 cousins, 4 uncles, 4 grandparents, and 4 (maybe 3?) great grandparents living.  This gives him the benefit of more information input, plus with the advent of digital technology and archiving – in theory the e-mail archives should be more resilient then paper letters I would have lost over the years.

I started off this post one side and ended up another, but now I bring it all back.   It’s all about stories, history, and getting things right – even though view points will color the history.   I don’t want to be the only one with viewpoints on this blog, whether your friends, family, or a random stranger I’m happy to get and respond to comments.    I’ll leave you with that.

P.S. Yes that is me in the picture with the mullet – want to start something over it?

P.P.S. My family and friends also ask me when I’m going to write this story or that one.  It’s all in good time.  I’m hoping to collect as many moments as possible.

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