Creeva's World 2.0 » Sad

Things You Should Be Able To Answer When Contacting A Consultant

Creeva — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 11:37:59 +0000

Someone I know came to me the other day about a consulting project that may or may not happen. What essentially he wants done is an overhaul of IT infrastructure. They want more automation to their operation and they deal with physical goods. So from receiving to shipping, to everything in between they are looking to streamline. They want to do more with less, less equipment if possible, less people if possible, less stress if possible. In other words they want what every other company in the world wants.

Currently they have a software package that does some of this, but it doesn’t do everything they want it to be able to do. I don’t have implicit knowledge of the package, other then I’ve created firewall rules when I was consulting with Symantec to pass the traffic. So my first question is the scope of the project. The person I was talking to didn’t exactly no what I meant by that. They were more worried about the big picture ideal instead of what a consultant would need to work with. A vision of the end goal is great, but without specific tasks to get there it definitely puts an implementer at a disadvantage. He stated that we would have to do a sit down and discuss the issue and layout of the business process. This is a good step, but part of why I’m writing this is to help others know the answer they should have when going into something of this magnitude.

Easy, Hard and Correct

The first question is why do you want to do this? There are easy answers, there are hard answers, and there is correct answers to this question. Some of the easy answers include – I want everything to work together better, we want to build to the future, and I have to spend my budget before the end of the fiscal cycle and want to try out this product. Hard answers include we want something more manageable for our IT staff, we want it to run faster in our environment, we want something we can understand.

There are reasons that these are the easy answers and hard answers. The first and foremost thought is to remember to sit down with a consultant or someone who understands the technology thoroughly enough before ever sitting down with a salesperson. To sales people, these are all easy and correct answers. They will tell you your toast can be used to transport computer network traffic with the right purchase, they are there to get your money. It’s the one reason I can never be a salesperson. I like people using the correct solution, not necessarily the solution that I am selling. Even when I worked at Symantec, I knew Symantec products were not the best products for all customers. Some customers only changed products because they had money to spend and ended up worse off for it. Salespeople are tricky creatures that guard their bonuses like Disney guards it’s copyrights.

Easy answers are normally very vague, they tell a salesperson of consultant that you haven’t really though to much about the problem. You have a basic idea of what you want, but you don’t know any specifics. The problem with the easy answers is that they are also the most expensive answers – this allows those that are implementing something to sell you what they think is best, regardless of how it will fit into your business six months down the road when they are gone. You will have to make some decisions on your own, and this should not be listening to the best sales pitch from two competing vendors. The best sales pitch does not necessarily equate into the best product.

Why are the hard answers difficult? What that’s because everything is relative. Going back to my examples can show you this. We want something more manageable by our IT staff, well how trained is your IT staff? Do your employees know alternative operating systems? Does your staff only run Microsoft products? Is this faster for your environment? What about a year down the road and the nightmare efficient system breaks because of infrastructure changes you were forced to make? Everything comes down to you knowing your environment and your plans for the future. A consultant only gets a glimpse of time into your configuration and is not going to be the full time employee running this stuff. They won’t know how your future plans could be effected if you don’t tell them your future plans.

The correct answer? That include being as specific as possible. Let’s say this is to implement an Exchange Server migrating from a Lotus Notes architecture. Why would I want to do this? Lotus Notes has been long in the process of being a headache for us. The administrator that runs it is retiring in six months and we have other employees that could scale up quicker to learn Exchange then Lotus Notes. The collaborative features in exchange work in Outlook, which our company already loads on all the desktop since we have a full Microsoft Office License on all of the desktops. About 30% of our users already use outlook to retrieve their e-mail, even though they all have the Notes client installed on their desktops also. Being able to consolidate this would save us thousands a year since we would no longer need a support contract or license fees paid to IBM to support the old Lotus infrastructure. The more complete and specific the answer, the better the consultant can answer your questions.

Do You Listen To Alternatives?

Even in the Exchange scenario seems complete. How rigid are you to suggestions? What if the consultant offers up other alternatives such as a web based e-mail solution that would still allow Exchange to connect and retrieve e-mail? While a Linux/Apache approach may be cheaper, you could also implement it on top of IIS. Building with some other technologies you could gain all the collaborative powers of Exchange for thousands of dollars less. Those who didn’t want to use Outlook could use a browser. If you combine this with a secure remote access solution this would allow for a possible quicker and less bandwidth connection for telecommuters if that is where your company is going.

Knowing what your plans and how rigid they need to be help a consultant decide what avenues may be the best approach for you. While I offered up a free solution, another consultant may offer ways to augment your current Notes infrastructure to fit your needs. The best consultants will offer alternatives to your current line of thinking. You do not have to listen to them, you can stay focused, but hearing how open you are is important.

Timeline

A timeline is something you should have in mind sitting down with the consultant. He needs to know deadlines and what your expectations are. Does this need to be done in a week or a year? How are your current employees going to ramp up on the new solution? While a consultant may reset your timelines to something more realistic, knowing what type of time frame you are trying to achieve is important to the success of the project. It also tells the consultant if they are going ot need to bring in more outside help.

Breakdown of Tasks

Have you compartmentalized your tasks? The person that contacted me was looking for a complete end to end solution, is this what best? In a solution like that how are you going to handle the transition time? You don’t want to migrate the whole solution at the touch of a button, since any big architecture change can effect your business continuity. For some businesses any downtime at all is lost revenue. A consultant wants to make this impact as minimal as possible. Even when you do the best planning and compartmentalizing sometimes you will get stuck on a twenty-three hour conference call working through the issues of down time. When this happens I can tell you it’s not fun. That was also with a staged migration.

What segments of your business can be down for hours at a time? When you can answer that you can start staging your tasks. The tasks that can be down the longest generally should be the first ones migrated, since they should give you expectations for later tasks, and allow you to plan accordingly. Do not re-architect the design so the whole system (no matter how small) to be done in one night if there are multiple groups effected in the transition. Design the impact to be as small as possible. Yes, this may increase time – which in turn increases expense, but without proper planning it may cost you more in the long run.

Cost

The question that no likes asking or giving, what is your budget for this task. You can wait for the consultant to make a cost estimate pitch first if you like – but at some point in the conversation cost is going to come up. Do your homework ahead of time to see how much you expect it to cost and budget accordingly. What are you going to do if things go over budget? If your three quarters way through a project and haev no more money to finish it, how is that going to impact you?

In Closing

This may seem like a list of things that I want as a consultant. These are however fairly common truths on what a consultant needs to start a project properly instead of spinning their wheels. In the next week or so I’m going to follow this up with how to spot a good consultant versus a bad one.

Stupid Facebook Chain Letter – I’ve seen a bunch of movies, but I swear I have a life

Creeva — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 01:35:06 +0000

Every once in a while I actually do one of the stupid chain letter things – this one seemed right up my alley – so let’s look at the results. Further discussion at the end.

SUPPOSEDLY if you’ve seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you’ve seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x’s next to the films you’ve seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease – own it
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean – own it
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest – own it
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club – own it
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story – own it
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 10

(x) The Princess Bride – own it
(x) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) The Dark Crystal - own it
(x ) Saw
(x) Saw II
(x) White Noise
(x) Vanilla Sky – own it
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates - own it
(x) Fletch
(x) Fletch Lives
Total so far: 22

(x) Scream - own it
(x) Scream 2 – own it
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2 - own it
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
(x) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 33

(x) Harry Potter 1 - own it
(x) Harry Potter 2 - own it
(x) Harry Potter 3 - own it
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Top Gun - own it
(x) Can’t Hardly Wait
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) Happy Gilmore - own it
(x) Mr. Magorum’s Emporium
Total so far: 42

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland - own it
(x) The Dark Knight
(x) The Grinch - own it
(x) Monster Squad
(X) The Gate - own it
(x) White Men Can’t Jump
(x) The Butterfly Effect
(X) Bubba HoTep - own it
(X) I am Legend
(x) Money Train
Total so far: 53

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) National Lampoons Vacation
(x) National Lampoons European Vacation
(x) National Lampoons Christmas Vacation - own it
(x) Caddyshack
(x) Caddyshack 2
(x) The Hudsucker Proxy
(x) Fast Times at Ridegmont High
(x) Clueless - own it
() 9 Months
(x) Death to Smoochy
(x) The Sting
Total so far: 64

(x) SpaceBalls
(x) The Terminal
(x) Robin Hood: Men in Tights - own it
(x) Forget Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) Pulp Fiction - own it
(x) Dirty Dancing - own it
(x) Eurotrip
(x) Roadtrip
Total so far: 78

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Harold & Kumar: Escape From Guantanamo Bay
(x) That Thing You Do
(x) The Jerk
(x) From Hell – own it
(x) Hellboy
() 2 Girls and a Guy
(x) Rear Window
(x) The Whole Nine Yards - own it
(x) The Whole Ten Yards - own it
Total so far: 87

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Liar Liar
(x) War Games - own it
(x) Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - own it
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Iron Man
(x) Gothika
(x) Howard The Duck- own it
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Just One of The Guys
(x) Breakin’
() Breakin’ 2: Electric Bugaloo
(x) Ski Party
(x) The Mask - own it
(x) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 101

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean’s Eleven
(x) Ocean’s Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
(x) Bourne Ultimatum
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I – own it
(x) Predator II
() Kicking and Screaming
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory - own it
Total so far: 116

(x) Independence Day - own it
(x) Casino
(x) Resevior Dogs
(x) Back to School
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
(x) Summer Rental
(x) Batteries not included – own it
(x) Catch and Release
(x) Rush Hour - own it
(x) Rush Hour 2 - own it
Total so far: 128

(x) The Crow - own it
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She’s All That
() Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Smokey and The Bandit - own it
(x) Smokey and The Bandit 2 - own it
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump – own it
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator – own it
(x) The Terminator 2- own it
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 141

(x) X-Men – own it
(x) X-2 - own it
(x) X-Men: The Last Stand
(x) Spider-Man - own it
(x) Spider-Man 2 – own it
(x) Tango and Cash
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) American Psycho - own it
(x) Jumper
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 159

(x) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
() The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
() Little Big League
() A Walk to Remember
(x) Tropic Thunder
(x) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 166

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring - own it
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers - own it
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King - own it
(x) Raiders of the Lost Ark - own it
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - own it
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - own it
Total so far: 172

(x) Baseketball
(x) Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
(x) House of 1000 Corpses
(x) The Devil’s Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) The Big Lebowski
(x) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
() Threesome
Total so Far: 180

() The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
(x) It - own it
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic - own it
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail - own it
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
(x) Hot Fuzz
Total so far: 188

() High Tension
(x) Club Dread
(x) Nick Fury : Agent of Shield
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook - own it
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 Days Later
(x) Orgazmo
(x) Super Troopers
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 197

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
(x) Suburban Commando
() Mr Nanny
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness - own it
Total so far: 202

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace - own it
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones - own it
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith - own it
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope - own it
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back - own it
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi - own it
( x) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage - own it
(x ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor - own it
Total so far: 210

(x) Point Break - own it
(x) Dogma
(x) Animatrix – - own it
(x) Evil Dead - own it
(x) Evil Dead 2 - own it
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Mallrats - own it
(x) Silence of the Lambs - own it
(x) Hannibal

Total 219

You see I already knew I had no life, so now you can see my movie choices – I think a bit of it is unfair since I’ve seen the original and remakes of a few movies on that list. In that scenario should I count them twice. I guess 219 out of 239 isn’t too bad, it’s also only the tip of the ice berg of what I’ve seen. Heck tonight in the hotel room I’m in three movies have played so far while I’ve been catching up on blog articles.

Youtube Getting Better At Copyright Infringement Detection

Creeva — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:37:01 +0000

Image from here

I know I just gave a post on using creative commons based works, and about the problems of dealing with international public domain laws, but Youtube has cracked down on me. Over the past few weeks I’ve been getting e-mails from youtube that say the following:

Subject: A copyright owner has claimed content in one of your videos

Video Disabled

A copyright owner has claimed it owns some or all of the audio content in your video [redacted]. The audio content identified in your video is [redacted]. We regret to inform you that your video has been blocked from playback due to a music rights issue.

Replace Your Audio with AudioSwap

Don’t worry, we have plenty of music available for your use. Please visit our AudioSwap library to learn how you can easily replace the audio in your video with any track from our growing library of fully licensed songs.

Other Options

If you think there’s been a mistake, or you have other questions, please visit the Copyright Notice page in your account.

Sincerely,
The YouTube Content Identification Team

Now in theory I could fight this, but I know I am in the wrong. I had videos on my profile that did include copyrighted music. For the most part they are not videos that I created, I was merely archiving them in a central location so people could find them. All the videos that have been taken down are Machinima videos that were “filmed” in Star Wars Galaxies. I can’t really take them up on the music swap suggestion, since the person that originally made the videos had a specific intent that went along with the chosen music.

This all goes into the idea of fair use and when is it ok to use something to create something else. This argument is a bit out of scope for this post. What I can say is all of these videos still exist online, archived in far off pages. It is sad that they can’t be displayed to wider audiences since most of them do have true genius in their design.

I thought this apt to add before anyone thought I had a holier then thou attitude in anyway because of my recent conversations. I knew the risks and issues involved with posting these pieces. I never claimed any part of the work was mine, and the most important thing is – I knew where it stood in the grand scheme of things before I did it. I’m not saying you will never run into a spot where you won’t ever use copyright material. Just be aware of what you are doing if you do.

Social Networks Are Like High School All Over Again

Creeva — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:40:17 +0000

You ever notice that when you are on social networks that you seem to seek people out that you only have the most tentative of connections with. I’m as bad as anyone. I’m speaking of this after a true friend added me yesterday on Facebook. It’s someone I messaged back and forth a few times with, and may mildly keep in touch with. After that I went through my graduating class and added more people. Some people I’m interested in from afar, some I’m interested in communicating with, some I have a passing interest in. I also didn’t add a few that I wouldn’t be interested in, but I would friend them back if they connected to me.

I was thinking afterward though that just like high school, some of these bonds and connections are true and some of them just a passing fancy where no communication will ever really flow from one end to the other. I see people that I know vaguely, I’m at least proper enough to stick with people I actually had classes or conversations with. Some of these people only have friends that they went to high school with. Some I may be the only one.

Looking at the sociological dynamics is very interesting. Some people are extremely close with those they went to high school with. I’m not, mostly since I’ve fallen out of touch with a lot of people. Moving to Oregon also put a bit more space between me and the rest of the class, and even now I live about sixty miles away – though I play in the community band in that town.

Even the bullies, the preps, or the prima donnas from school, I wish them no ill will. There was a moment in time I was worried about my standing in the social pecking order, but I think I left that behind when I was an underclassmen in high school. I’m someone that cares about my immediate social circles and not those of memories of people over a decade old. If they however wish to know me more in depth then my blog posts allow I’m happy to converse with them, maybe even have a coffee – but things won’t be like they were. Because of that I don’t judge them by the way they are.

Time has changed most if not all of us. I’m sure some of them all hang out with the same people from high school, get drunk every night with the same people they drank with when they were underage- but I hope the majority of them have moved from that. That their dreams have been realized. We have this spark of moment in time where we had a shared experience and it bounds us. Not everyone is brave enough to face that moment in their lives, some people want to leave it behind them never to return back. I’m sure those people I’ll never be able to reconnect with, the saddest part a couple of those were some of my best friends.

To the future and the past, we move forward solid in our own steps. The echoes of the past follow behind us as we make our way into the unknown.

My Ranking on 50 Skills Every Real Geek Should Have

Creeva — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:10:54 +0000

Maximum PC recently ran an article titled 50 Skills Every Real Geek Should Have, I wanted to go through and see how I ranked in their skill list. Let’s find out.

1. Name the Connectors – yes I was able to :)

2. Run your essential apps on a USB stick – no I don’t do this, I could – I just prefer to run everything in the cloud or on my N810 – which is with me most of the time.

3. Straighten Pins on a CPU – I have done this too many times

4. Know the 13 basic HTML Tags – well I kinda know most of them – I use freaking wordpress I hardly need to use HTML and when I do I look it up and hav ethe answer in seconds. Though I do know quite a few by heart that aren’t listed in the basic 13.

5. Get through to executive customer service – hey I read the consumerist.

6. Beat quake in 60 minutes – maybe at one point in time, but I’m not big on FPS games.

7. Build a Hackintosh – I know how, I just don’t the components that seem to work, and I’m a cheap bastard that won’t buy parts just to run OSX - I’ll stick with ubuntu as my alternative OS.

8. Watch TV Online legally – um that’s how I watch 100% of my TV these days.

9. Get around a content filter from a public computer – yes I know how, I’ve helped friends at other companies, it’s not worth it to do it at my own job though.

10. Recite Pi to 23 decimal places – nope – I have no inclination to ever learn either.

11. Replace the controller board on a hard drive – hey I did that once, it’s not a skill that comes up at parties though.

12. Benchmark your computer – really? Is this even on this list? Yes, I was doing this before I fully understood what the benchmarks meant on my 386 DX40.

13. Decorate your room with only printer paper – am I physically in the skill set to be able to do this? Yes I am – would I? No. I’m more likely to decorate with NES cartridges.

14. Securely erase your data so it can’t be recovered – yes I am capable – it would be easier if you encrypted it first though.

15. Get into a windows computer if you don’t have a password – yes I’ve done this quite a few times.

16. Hide data from anyone – yes encryption, hidden volumes, stegnography (which I got bored with in 2001) – I am capable of doing all that – I’m more likely ot share my data then hide it though.

17. Explain what e=mc2 means – yes I would like the e=MC2 with a side of fries please – yes I am capable, but refuse to put in the details here since I want to make it through this list.

18. Abstain from buying extended warranties – I may have bought one, once – it was on something i thoguht it fall apart though – so it’s all good.

19. Use photoshop or gimp – yes I am capable.

20. Use a DSLR in full manual mode – I can – I’m just lazy and prefer it to do the work.

21. Mooch your neighbors wi-fi – my neighbor doesn’t have wi-fi but I’m ready to mooch when they do.

22. Protext your wi-fi – Wep2 currently – For a while I had mac filtering, I hated to keep getting mac addresses from visitors though.

23. Create an animated spray in Valve games – um – I don’t think I’ve played a single one for more then 5 minutes….so this one is a no.

24. Setup RAID – yes I’ve done this a few times over the years for my home network. Now implement Iscsi raid across multiple computers – that’s a challenge.

25. Calculate a Pitchers ERA – no I don’t know how – but I know google will give me the answer quicker then I can calculate it.

26. Run two Operating Systems – um I dual boot currently……

27. Install a hard drive in laptop – done before and some day I’ll do it again.

28. Pull off an elaborate prank – I think have the skill set and knowledge – I just never have – unless stealing street signs as a teenager counts.

29. Rocket jump with a macro – um – I said I don’t really do FPS games – so no I can’t do this.

30. Wire your home with ethernet – um every place I’ve lived with my wife we have had wired ethernet – we even used RG58 at one point.

31. Know the 6 most important linux commands – yes I get command not found when I’m not thinking and run them in windows.

31. Rip your CDs to Flac – we did this for awhile then went back to MP3

32. Stream Music, Movies, Pictures to any TV in the house – I’ve done this before – now we just carry our laptops around – shrug.

33. Install and configure a VM – yes I’ve done this for literally years (maybe even a decade by now)

34. Run multiple monitors – yes I use to dual monitor and run SWG on two different ones at the same time – I’m sad I know.

35. Run hacked firmware on a router – yes liek the rest of hte world I have a hacked linksys router /yawn.

36. Pick a lock – I’m not good at it, but I’ve done it a couple times.

37. Tell the difference between Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb – it’s been awhile but I think I could.

38. Avoid DRM on everything – well streaming video legally that they talked about above seems to contradict this one doesn’t it. However all my local video, music, picutres, and ebooks are DRM free.

39. Download a flash video and reformat it – yes I’ve done this – youtube videos locally stored on the N810 ftw.

40. Get around in DOS – I grew up and DOS and resisted windows for a long time – so let’s just say yes.

41. Rip a DVD to h.264 – yes been there done that.

42. Overclock your PC – yes I’ve done this my pride and joy was overclocking my AMD 133 mhz 486 to 160 MHZ – and it benchmarked and ran like a pentium 133 for half the cost.

43. Use remote desktop – it’s part of my job – so yes.

44. Debate the merits of a star destroyer vs. the enterprise – yes, and the star destroyer would win.

45. Buld your own computer – built too many to actually count – I’m serious to – I worked at a small PC store and we sold hundreds – thousands of machines – so I cna build my own.

In irony they don’t seem to actually have 50 things on their list – so I think most geeks should know how to count also.

Where Were You When Moments – My Answers

Creeva — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:21:43 +0000

Picture from here

Yesterday on the radio they were ranking which was the most important moments in history in which you can remember what you were doing. I found the link to the quiz they were using, which was originally put up by Slate. While I do rememebr some of the events, others seem to go by without notice. I wanted to comment on the moments that happened within my lifetime. At least it will give my future son an idea of what I thought about the events that we consider important in history. This list is not in order of importance, it’s just the descending order in the slate list.

Berlin Wall comes tumbling down – I can’t say I truly remember the actual day the Berlin Wall fell down. It was a vague thing, something that was expected for awhile that was built up over time. I could be wrong on that. The one thing I thought was kind of cool about this was the fact that at Higbee’s you could purchase pieces of the Berlin Wall in a sack. These days that type of action would make me immensely sad, it’s a sign of America’s need to profit off of an event. In retrospect how did we know that they were pieces of the actual wall?

Mount St. Helen s Erupts – Though I was four I remember this. I also remember President Carter on TV so I have a good young memory. This was a scary thing to me. I think I had this thought that volcano’s didn’t exist any more, that they were something that was from the time of dinosaurs. That it could happen in real life was very scary to me. I’m sure I watched this at my grandmother’s house on her floor model console TV.

Katrina Hits New Orleans – For Hurrican Katrina Xie and I were at home, we were playing SWG and attempting to get a hold of our friend that lived in New Orleans. We managed a day or so later to get a hold of him and post a picture of his house. It was scary knowing someone that was going through the disaster. We almost went down to help but didn’t. The evacuations and such were keeping people at bay we didn’t know when to go or what to do. We both wish we had gone, but that time has now passed. We are left with what we did do.

O.J. Simpson Verdict – I was working at Beaver Park Marina that year. We watched portions of the trial during our breaks in the “cafeteria” area. I’m still not sure to this day why this trial was such a big event. I understand the outcome and fears of racial violence from the verdict. What I don’t understand is all the media hype and the 24×7 news coverage of this trial.

Miracle On Ice – Ok this happened while I was alive, but I remember nothing about it.

Oklahoma City Bombing – America had lived through attacks previous to this one. There was a few attack on the World Trade center, and it was thought this was done by foreign nationals. To this day this is one of the events I point to when people point on the war on terrorism that takes place on foreign soil. One of the largest attacks on our own soil happened by one of our own citizens.

John Lennon Shot – This is another one of those where I was alive, but I don’t remember it.

Elvis Presley Dies at 42 – I definitely don’t remember this one since I was only one year old.

San Francisco World Series Earthquake – If I had followed sports ever in my life I think I would have paid more attention to this. I do remember the earthquake and wondered if California was going to fall into the Ocean. If this was the proverbial big one. I’m influenced in that thinking because of Superman II.

Princess Diana Dies – I remember this. I also wsan’t sure what the big deal was. I know one of my uncles cried because of this. To many people Diana was the last true royalty. This was probably because she was the modern storybook princess.

Three Mile Island Nuclear Accident – Once again, I was too young and do not remember this one.

Reagan Shot – We heard about this when I was at school. Since it was a private christian school we all had a prayer session for the president. Reagan was like a god to me back then, the invulnerable most powerful man. This re-affirmed that when he survived, but I was on shaky ground at first. I was young and scared for the life of our president. To this day I still personally think he was one of four greatest presidents of the last one hundred years.

Shuttle Challenger Explodes – I was in school again when this happened. It was a big media event with the first school teacher going up with the shuttle. This was the event that shocked the nation. We got out of school early that day and I do remember being upset. For what seemed to be weeks they showed that footage on the news.

JFK Jr. Dies in a Plane Crash – I’m not sure why this made the list. I remember it, and I was sad in the abstract, but it didn’t really pull at my heart strings. Around the same time I remember John Denver dying – I think the guy that who sang with Kermit the frog being gone affected me more.

Shuttle Columbia Disintegrates on Re-entry – I woke up early that day and was watching TV in the family room in the Oregon house. I was shocked and hurt when I saw this. I started crying. I thought this was the worst disaster that I had witnessed since it would hurt human’s getting back to the stars which I felt was our future. I woke up Xie and told her, she didn’t understand why I was upset. I just was. This event truly affected me.

9/11 Attacks – I was driving to work at Symantec on the beltway and a radio announcer talked about plane hitting the trade center. I’m not sure if the second plane had hit or not at that point. I thought it was some weird joke by the disc jockey’s. It turned out it wasn’t. When I arrived at work ewe were told that if it was too much for us, then we could return home (paid). I went on with my day following events online. I called Griffaw and Xie at home to turn on the TV at home to see what was happening. We kept in contact through out the day via IM. Griffaw didn’t move form that TV for four days watching everything as it unfolded. I’ll leave my own political comments about this time out of this post.

Asian Tsunami – We didn’t watch a lot of news at this time. I was aware of the event and read about it online, but it wasn’t an in your face major thing for me.

Dale Earnhardt Dies at Daytona – Really? I don’t know why this made the list. I don’t know where I was or even if I cared at all. I don’t follow NASCAR so someone dying in a car crash is a risk that I was aware that drivers took.

There is one more I would like to do that isn’t on that list:

Kurt Cobain’s Death – I didn’t watch MTV so I wasn’t immediately informed of Kurt Cobain’s death. At this time period I didn’t even like Nirvana’s music (they are one of my favorites now). I was one of those kids the next day mocking the other kids that were crying. I understand this now though. Some people may disagree but in a way Cobain was a Lennon for our generation. A voice that spoke out and said what we were feeling. Someone who we could identify with. I have never had a living musician that I felt that way about, but I understand why everyone else was upset. Wisdom is granted with age.

If you don’t see all the video links make sure you view this a creeva.com.

A Month With Mom – Part 7 – Respect Is A Two Way Street

Creeva — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 16:22:40 +0000

My grandfather taught me a thing or two about respect. I’m not going to say we see eye to eye, but I did manage to learn a few things. The largest being that you earn respect. My father taught me that you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. My mother never learned either of those two lessons. Somehow because she had the biological capability of having children that it meant that her children would have to respect her. I however never had such a notion. I also have never claimed that my mother was the sharpest tack in the pile.

My mother complained a lot to me that my seventeen year old sister called her a bitch all the time. I stated that this was normal for seventeen year olds. I also felt that my sister was working 20-30 hours a week, going to school, and planning for her future was better grounded then my mother who worked maybe 4 hours a week. My mother would call my sister a bitch, and wonder why she got the word thrown back at her. I’ve brought this up to her and she denies it. I have witnessed it though. Xie has witnessed it. My sisters can attest to it. However my mother turned my grandparents against my sister over this. They thought was sister was the wild child that no one can control (do we need to go back to school and work compared to my mother?). They thought my mother didn’t deserve that language tossed at her. They also have a strong refusal to believe that my mother would ever call any of her children such language.

HA.

My mother was using that language directed at my sisters before they were even teenagers. My grandparents still think that I (in my thirties mind you) is still just telling stories and making things up about my mother. I don’t know how my grandfather who taught me you have to earn respect ever gained it for my mother. The only thing that comes to mind is the fact that she is a woman. Xie sometimes gets annoyed when my grandfather states that if I die, that I need to make sure that I provide for her. My grandfather is a bit sexist and thinks that women have a hard time to provide for themselves. I don’t completely fault the man, he comes from a different generation and my grandparents fit into very traditional gender roles that younger generations don’t follow any more.

Their daughter has not earned the respect of any of her children. Instead of inspiring her children to do more and be an example, she tries to elicit pity from them. This isn’t anger, my mom generally gets pity to pity her so she can get things. This is her control mechanism. This is why my brother states he will take care of her and my grandparents still do. I want help from people because I need help, not because they pity me. To be pitied is all around just sad, to be truly undeserving of pity because you got yourself into the mess; doubly so.

Creeva.com Weeks In Review 9/19/08-10/3/08

Creeva — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:39:21 +0000

Well it seems I’ve been lax the last couple weeks in my weekly summaries. Let’s catch up:

Articles:

I Think Fragmented Communities in Social Networks Are a Good Thing

Interesting – Guess They Don’t have Time to Meet

Web Application Developers Can Learn A Bit From WordPress

Holy Legos Batman (Not About Lego Batman)

Some Great Macro Photography Images

Sad Day For Free Speech For Students

Had to Remove Some Sites From My Lifestreaming Page

Web Companies Today Are On Top Of Customer Service – Traditionals Take Note

Get an E-Mail or Twitter Alert When a Company Changes is Privacy or Security Policy

Pop-up Study Proves Users Will Click Anything

It Had to Happen Eventually – DHS Testing Pre-Crime Detection

Palin Hacker Is Not Indicted …So Far……

VHS Alumni Band 2008 Memories

Did I Blog Without Permission or Do You Not Understand Creative Commons

Daily Online Activity:

Online Activity for 2008-09-19

Online Activity for 2008-09-20

Online Activity for 2008-09-21

Online Activity for 2008-09-22

Online Activity for 2008-09-23

Online Activity for 2008-09-24

Online Activity for 2008-09-25

Online Activity for 2008-09-26

Online Activity for 2008-09-27

Online Activity for 2008-09-29

Online Activity for 2008-09-30

Online Activity for 2008-10-01

VHS Alumni Band 2008 Memories

Creeva — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 16:35:46 +0000

Saturday was the VHS Alumni Bands 22nd performance at the Vermilion High School Band Festival. I originally marched for the Vermilion High School Sailor Marching Band from my Sophomore to Senior years (Senior Year Video) which encompass the fall of 1991 through the summer of 1994. I had the option to put on the band uniform one last time for the Vermilion Fish Festival in 1994, but I declined that was the first time I performed with the VHS Alumni Band.

My first band festival (Fall 1994) outside of high school I didn’t get a chance to perform, I was marching with earlier that day for a home game with the Ashland University Marching Band. I did show up that evening to watch the performance and hang out with friends. I heard a lot of people say that this was their best year in Alumni Band, no disrespect to Joe, but I have to disagree, at least for myself. The best year for me was my first festival back with the group at the Band Festival of 1995(?) which was Willy B’s (William Burt’s) last year as the Band Director for Alumni. If it hadn’t been for Mr. Burt and his loyal students there wouldn’t have been an Alumni band today, so all of us can look back and thank them for making this possible.

I’ve marched many years with Alumni at the festival (1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2006, 2007, and 2008) and I only missed it five times because I was living in Oregon. I can say I was extremely tempted to spend the money for a plane ticket and fly back for it during those missing years. I’m extremely happy that I was there for Mr. Henry’s final year as both a high school director (my senior year) and his last year as an Alumni Band director. Last year when he announced he was retiring as the Alumni director I had tears in my eyes (HEY I’M A SENSITIVE GUY!!). David Henry is probably one of the greatest influences on my life, and I don’t know where I would be today if Jeff Luther hadn’t tried to convince someone who didn’t know how to play a note to join the marching band. Someday I’ll write a whole article on Mr. Henry, today isn’t that day though.

My own personal tradition is to show up early for Alumni practice, I was always the first to arrive and just enjoyed being there sitting in the back of the band room anticipating the day. This year I was dropped off and there already was another car there, three majorettes beat me. For the first time I wasn’t the first one there. Next year I guess I have to arrive at 6 AM. My wife dropped me off, then she went a visited the grave of a friend to tell him about the new pregnancy. Later in the day I told that friend’s sister, who is now in Alumni, that we are planning on giving our child his name if it is a boy.

Mr. Price ran us ragged through out the day for the performance. I’m not saying it wasn’t worth it, I’m just saying…. After lunch was practiced our closing routine for the first time and at the end we practiced the high step. My ankles felt like they were going to break at any second. It may have been the shoes, but I think it was age catching up with me. I went out and bought a pair of ankle supports at dinner time. I wore these for the rest of the night. I managed to high step and I didn’t break an ankle. On Sunday however I could hardly walk on my ankles at all. By Sunday night it had migrated to just my left ankle. It is still sore and tender four days later.

Pain and sickness isn’t new to me at Alumni Band though. Two years ago I blew out and gave myself a sore throat in the morning practice. Compound that by the fact that it was raining that night and eventually it got bad enough they moved the festival inot the high school gym – I was laid up sick in bed for four days afterward. Last year I got the sore throat again, but it didn’t develop into anything more. After last year I decided I wanted to be in playing shape – no sore throat and no dead lips. I joined two community bands and that corrected the issue from that side. I do think I’m going to have to start running again just to get my ankles in shape for next year. These are the the things I do for Alumni Band.

Some things are funny, like the people being amazed that the current seniors were freshmen when they were seniors. I pointed out that the current seniors weren’t even in preschool when I was a senior. You have the differences in band style from the Burt to Henry to Price eras, and of course all of us think that our own era was the best. There are things I missed from the past in Alumni. Large groups of us used to sneak in Alcohol in water bottles and get lit before marching. Before he did Dennis Pintur used to be notorious for that. He was also notorious for blowing out his lip playing tuba and showing everyone his bloody white beard also. The tuba’s back then actually did tuba chases, which I haven’t seen in the last few years. During the drum breaks our tubas also used to twirl their instruments. My first year in the band festival Mike Lewandowski put me on his shoulders during the drum break and we did a dance in our section of the field.

The band has changed and grown up. This isn’t really a bad thing. It may be why some of hte older members don’t show up still, but that happens. The experience isn’t the same, people move away, people are busy – there are alot of reasons people don’t show up. The rest of us… Well the the rest of us want to relive our glory days like Al Bundy. In a way we are sad like some people think. It is also glory. The excitement of going onto that field, feeling the rush, and doing it one more time. I’ll be there as long as I am physically able. I’ll be there in a wheel chair and play for the middle songs only. In the end I’ll be there. I’ve lasted longer playing with the band then the band has played in the Vermilion Fish Festival (which BTW I think they need to start doing again). I’ll survive and do it until there isn’t a band festival to march at anymore. If it ever comes to that point I’ll just invite all the band members that want to show up on a fall Saturday, pull out some music, and play on the football field even if it’s just for ourselves. Those that understand that, they are the ones that really want to “Do it One More Time”.

Videos:

Star Spangled Banner – Google Video Link

Festival Show – Google Video Link

Sideline Footage – Google Video Link

If you somehow missed it you can also always watch last years video here.

If you want to see the pictures I took – scoot on over to my Flickr set.

Pop-up Study Proves Users Will Click Anything

Creeva — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:18:05 +0000

People in the security world were all pretty sure that users never paid attention to dialog boxes. Ars Technica printed information about a study performed North Carolina State University that proves that the security professionals were correct. Most users only want to get rid of the immediate annoyance and don’t read what is happening on their screens.

We already know most people don’t read their end user license agreements – but come on. How many fake windows dialog banner ads do you need to load and have bad things happen to your computer before you learn. Unlike other childhood cause and effect lessons, we don’t lear clicking the button is bad like the stove is hot when we get burned. There is a mantra I’ve always enjoyed, “If Stupidity Can’t Hurt, Then It Should Cost”. I’m rather happy that most users that click and click and click to punch the monkey or get rid of fake banners hads more then likely spend hundreds of dollars keeping their computer in running order after the spyware has had a field day. I do feel sorry for their family members that have to fix it for free though……

For More information click the link below (Ars Technica)

Fake popup study sadly confirms most users are idiots

Sad Day For Free Speech For Students

Creeva — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:25:39 +0000

Picture from here

Ars Technica is reporting that a school in Pennsyvania has suspended 2 students for creating a Myspace profile of their principal mocking him. A federal judge upheld this ruling when they were sued by one of the students for suspending them for something they created on their own time outside of school. Personally I find this disturbing on two fields.

The first I want to bring up is parody. I’m not sure why they didn’t take the parody defense. To their non-target audience I’m sure the language and style they used was reprehensible, and to the school district bordering in libel. I however remember what it was like being a teenager, a time period that most adults don’t allow themselves to identify with once they age past it. The key thing they need ot look at is the target audience. It wouldn’t be truly fair to have a trial of teenagers to be judged by their “peers” and have the jury made up of people older then 25. That seems to be the tipping point when the social norms of the next high school generation are lost on the adults. The language is different. The clothing is different. The attitudes are different. Unless a similar mindset can be understood by the jury, the teenager will loose almost every time in a “Damn kids don’t respect anything” moment. I think parody would have been the correct defense.

Now let’s look at the freedom of speech angle. There is quite a few that feel like I do that the traditional schooling these days is to extinguish individual thought and bring people around to “group think”. We all have our moments when we feel group think is a good thing, most of that time is when group think agrees with what we are thinking. However when a student has individual thought they seem to get punished. About eight years ago my sister was almost suspended for going to school with pink hair. The problem was that “it was a distraction” – really? Life is all about distraction and things that block you from achieving your goals. Work through it. She (nor the boys in question from the beginning argument) hurt or threatened the life or welfare of those around them. Even then it should be either handled by the police or if it happened in school, by the police and the school.

One of the arguments the defense used was that though the boys wrote the information outside of school, it was targeted at students in it. Duh! Almost the whole of their society is wrapped up in school. They don’t really live work and interact within the community. Their peer and focus groups are almost all inclusively within that school. Of course it’s going to be their target audience. The same way that writing an OP-Ed piece for the local community newspaper is targeted at that community. It doesn’t matter if the person that wrote the piece technically lives outside the city borders, it’s still valid. They are addressing their peer group. What we have now is we are creating a society where it is considered to mock or question public figures. If their are repercussions outside of the normal legal channels, students then gain a greater fear of authority then they should have.

Like work, there needs to be a seperation between a students personal lives and their work lives. What I do on my own time is none of my works business. When I am at work it is completely their business and I have to deal with anything that stems out of my decisions from there. If this case was going after the libel or slander side of the coin, which is where it should have gone, it should not have been handled by removing the children from the school. It should have been settled in the courts and outside of the venue of schools. The biggest issue is while if I do something egregious outside of work that can have a negative effect on the company, I can get fired. Schools however should not be allowed to fire or punish students on things that take place outside of their borders of jurisdiction, which end at the edge of school property.

My Parents and the Sex Talk

Creeva — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 02:31:10 +0000

Picture from here

The sex talk, it’s something teenagers dread and so do parents. I think I was a pre-teen the first time my parents tried to broach the subject. I had already been aware from enough TV shows were a parent attempted to have a sex talk with their child that it was not a good thing. I avoided it like the plague, just not wanting to deal with it.

The first time my parents were watching the show Dallas and we’re all aware how much sex is shown non explicitly on prime time soap operas. My parents were discussing and wondering if I understood what was happening and if it would effect me. Now I’m not going to say I understood completely, but I knew enough to understand where this conversation was headed and I didn’t want any of it. I replied that they were just going to bed and getting ready to fall asleep. That was the first time I avoided this conversation.

It was a tight end-run in sixth grade when I scored the highest in class on a sex education test. Actually it was more a genetics test, but I got both the extra credit question correct, plus 100% on the test – this brought my score to 106%, the highest out of the whole 100 students in the sixth grade.

Over the following years I mastered avoidance of the subject, until the week before I was going to leave for college. My mother sat me down and started to explain sex to me, at this point in time why bother. I realized for some reason my avoidance tactics were not going to work this time. I told my mother point blank, “I don’t want to talk about this, I lost my virginity three years ago and I don’t think there is anything you can tell me.” That shut her up, she mulled around and I went back to my day of packing.

Now I have ot start planning down the road how I’m going to talk to my kid about sex and when. I understand the avoidance tactics so they won’t be able to pull that one. Of course if it was only my decision I would let them learn the same way I did, school gossip, school education, and practicing it themselves. Sadly I’ve already been told it isn’t going to work out that way.

Creeva.com Week In Review 8/15/08-8/22/08

Creeva — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 10:52:13 +0000

This week has been a crazy one. Here is what has been published.

Articles:

Bill Nye The Science Guy is Coming Back – I always enjoyed Bill Nye The Science Guy.

The Second Day of Kindergarten – Heart break and scheming

Week One of My New GTD Strategy is Over – The success rate is a debate

County Fair, after County Fair, after County Fair – Many trips scheduled

Will Social Networks Lead to Political Revenge? – Wondering what happens when the next generation gets into power

Utter Frustration and Writers Block – General rant on not writing

How I Changed The Channel At Grandpa’s House – A child finds a flaw in the system. As one comment pointed out I hacked my grandfather.

Competitive Training is Not an Excuse for Sending Kids to Public Schools – A rant against someone who thinks everyone should go to public schools to be truly competitive

My Obsession With Capes – A short fun little post

The Time I Thought I Was Related to Spider-Man – Sadly I truly am not

New Look For The Blog – Announcing the new theme

VCMA Concert Tonight

- I need to write the follow up

I Admit it, I Liked Archie Comics Growing Up – I’m weird. I know.

Twitter Updates:

Twitter Updates for 2008-08-15

Twitter Updates for 2008-08-16

Twitter Updates for 2008-08-18

Twitter Updates for 2008-08-19

Twitter Updates for 2008-08-20

Daily Activity Summaries:

Daily Digest for 2008-08-21 – starting yesterday I’m gonig to be posting a daily post of all my online activity – my lifestream day by day in a post. I hope you enjoy.

Hackintosh Failure

Creeva — Sat, 24 May 2008 19:49:50 +0000

So last night I did try to turn my laptop into a hackintosh, and it didn’t turn out so well. After installation I seemed to have an issue with my video not working (ironic that it works for the installation screens). I futzed with it for awhile and since have given up on it. I’m willing to work around issues and change my methodogy to do something becuase I’m not using it the way it’s supposed to be used (part of the mantra of everything I do – My old home network used to have 16 PC’s on it). I can only go so far in futzing before it’s more a nuisance and get’s in the way of getting things done.

After following the Kalway steps that should have enabled to work, I relented and went back to Ubuntu Hardy Heron 64 Bit – a fresh install (plus the addition of 2 GB of ram) has mad it more “peppy” then it was before. I guess my next step will be working on getting VMware working so I can get the couple windows programs (Finale) that I want to work with running on my laptop. One great thing about a fresh install is that Ubuntu detected my wireless NIC right away – that took a couple hours to get working when I first installed Gutsy Gibbon.

Xie had been having issues with Vista and we salavaged her data and loaded Ubuntu on her laptop as well. She remarked to me that it seemed to simple. I explained how complex do you need your operating system to appear? We’ll see how it goes with her, if she likes it, and if she’ll stick with it. She has become a bit more like me in the belief of the cloud computing dream and as long as the browser functions as well she’ll learn to work around everything else.

I can say that I did have mixed feeling migrating to OSX since I wouldn’t be able to test Gnome Conduit anymore (except the N810 port), which would make it alot harder for me to work on documentation. Regardless it seems I’m now a linux for life type of guy, though it’s not like I don’t have an XP desktop 5 feet away from me, a 2k3 server in a basement, a first gen mac mini in the next room hooked to the TV, and my work assigned Mac Book Air next to this laptop. Maybe since the N810 is linux based I should have done a BSD on this laptop? I do think I’m very comfortable switching between OS’s and machines.

Yes I Will Join Your Social Network, I am not logging in though….

Creeva — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:09:02 +0000

Last night I got in a discussion with Xie on how my crossposting and data centralization to data broadcast system works. I was sad, I built a big flow chart with arrows and everything. I’ve gone over enough times on all the sites I crosspost too, so the what, when, and how is not due to be written about again for the next two months. My concern right now is why.

The easiest way is that I don’t want my friends to be forced to choose which social network I do to. Some of them have however forced me into making choices of which ones I use to get updates on them. If someone leaves me a comment on a service I can’t import them into my blog, then I get an email notification. I will login once or twice a month on some of them, just to see updates from friends, but most of my friends are lazy so I don’t miss much.

Looking at myspace pages hurts my eyes and insults any integrity I have for sensibility of web design. Facebook is too busy and a mish mash of everything. All other servives usually fall into these areas. It’s not like I don’t want to have a place in your walled garden, but I would prefer to just send you my information. I don’t want to go there manually and import or create it. I have my own tools for creation, design, and placement. I’ve spent money on these tools (domain name, hosting, flickr), I don’t need your tools. You are insulting me but saying I can’t bring my toys over to play. Well I just don’t come over or create any content for you at all. If I was popular that would mean my friends would leave your service and go where I do intereact and I can play with my toys. You welcome to come play. If you know of an online service that allows me to send notifications in via some method other then physically going to the site, send me an invite and I’ll come join.

A Co-Worker Passed Away Last Night

Creeva — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:06:42 +0000

One of my co-workers passed away in his sleep last night. He was a nice guy that was always there and willing to help you out. He was a smoking buddy for me and someone with whom I could discuss cars with. While his loss will be missed, most people here are taking it harder then I am. After being a pallbearer for my best friend, I’m not sure I could get upset with the loss of a co-worker/casual friend the same way ever again.

When I was working for tech support at Symantec we once had someone pass away in their cubicle. It was almost surreal after the fact. I knew who the guy was but he wasn’t on my team so I didn’t really talk to him. But from my understanding he was sitting there for over an hour hunched over and people thought he was asleep. This was about 1 cubicle row over from me. It was odd but not upsetting to me.

I can say for my co-worker that passed away last night, that I’m happy he was away from the office and hopefully passed away in his sleep. The last conversation we had was about Dodge cars made in the 60′s and 70′s – he also talked about how he used to tour the strip in his hometown for girls when he was a teenagers driving these cars that were destined to be the classic iconography of the American automobile.

Hopefully now he is sitting again in his 1969 Dodge Charger that he owned in his younger years and cruising that same strip. Reliving the happiest moments of his life. He will be missed and honored.

The Kiosk Series – Part Three – Microsoft SteadyState vs Group Policies

Creeva — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 19:35:31 +0000

One of the programs that management wants us to look at for our kiosk implementation is Microsoft Steadystate which is Microsoft‘s all in one wizard create a kiosk solution.

I’m not entirely convinced on the scenario that there is things in which you can do with this, that active directory is not more suited for. So while we work through this document we’ll be exploring the options of SteadyState and comparing it to group policies that you can push down to a computer or user account from a central location.

This is the start page of Microsoft SteadyState from here there are 6 things you can do:

1. Set Computer Restrictions

2. Schedule Software Updates

3. Protect the Hard Disk

4. Add a New User

5. Export a User

6. Import a User

This is the “Set Computer Restrictions” page. This is broken down to different sections and show you how limiting the computer settings are in group polices that can be applied to this state. While there are still further windows computer policies you can apply to the machine especially if you wish to conform to your companies security plan, we’ll stick with Microsoft’s options for now.

Privacy Settings:

1. Do not display user names in the Log On to Windows dialog box

Group Policy equivalent:

Computer Configuration\Windows Settings\Security Settings\Local Policies\Security Options\Do Not Display last user name in login screen

2. Prevent locked or roaming profiles that cannot be found on the computer from logging on

Group Policy Equivalent:

Disable interactive logon for all accounts except the approved accounts for use with the kiosk machine

Registry Equivalent:

“Computer Configuration\User Settings\Administrative Templates\System\User Profiles\Log users off when roaming profile fails”

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\System\ProfileErrorAction]

3. Do not cache copies of locked or roaming profiles for users who have previously logged on to this computer -

Group Policy Equivalent:

Disable interactive logon for all accounts except the approved accounts for use with the kiosk machine

Registry Equivalent:

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\System\DeleteRoamingCache]

Security Settings:

1. Remove the Administrator user name from the Welcome Screen

Group Policy Equivalent:

The XP Welcome screen is automatically changed to the classic logon screen after a computer is joined to a domain – no policy change is needed unless this has been adjusted.

Registry equivalent:

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Windows NT\CurrentVersion\Winlogon\SpecialAccounts\UserList\Administrator]

2. Remove the Shut Down and Turn Off options from the Log On to Windows and the Welcome Screen

Group Policy Equivalent:

User Configuration \ Administrative Templates \ Start Menu and Taskbar

Policy:Disable Logoff on the Start Menu
Description:Removes the "Logoff" button from the Start menu and prevents
users from adding the Logoff button to the Start menu.
Registry Value:"StartMenuLogoff"

Policy:Disable and remove the Turn Off Computer button
Description:Removes the "Turn Off Computer" button from the Start Menu and
prevents shutting down Windows using the standard shutdown user interface.
Registry Value:"NoClose"

3. Do not allow Windows to compute and store passwords using LAN Manager Hash values

Group Policy Equivalent:

Computer Configuration\Windows Settings\Security Settings\Local Policies\Security Options\Network Security: Do not store LAN Manager hash value on next password change

4. Do not store user names or passwords used to log on to Windows Live ID or the domain

Group Policy Equivalent:

Computer Configuration\Windows Settings\Security Settings\Local Policies\Security Options\Network access: Do not allow storage of credentials or .NET Passports for network Authentication

By disabling interactive logins for all users accept the kiosk user acount – this isn’t an issue

5. Prevent users from creating folders and files on the drive c:\

Security configured on the drive to give the kiosk only read access to information it needs should handle this.

6. Prevent users from opening Microsoft Office documents from within Internet Explorer

Registry Equivalents:

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Classes\Excel.Sheet.5\BrowserFlags]

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Classes\Excel.Sheet.8\BrowserFlags]

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Classes\MSProject.Project.8\BrowserFlags]

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Classes\PowerPoint.Show.8\BrowserFlags]

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Classes\Word.Document.6\BrowserFlags]

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Classes\Word.Document.8\BrowserFlags]

7. Prevent write access to USB storage devices

Registry Equivalent:

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control\StorageDevicePolicies\WriteProtect]

Other Settings:

1. Turn off the Welcome Screen

Group Policy Equivalent:

The XP Welcome screen is automatically changed to the classic logon screen after a computer is joined to a domain – no policy change is needed unless this has been adjusted.

If you notice the Microsoft does have some understanding of using machines with this configuration applied to them in a Domain environment since they provide the not “In a Domain managed environment the Domain Group Policy supersedes any settings made here.”

This is the Schedule Software updates screen. From you can configure the interval in which you update the Windows Operatings and auxillary programs. For updating windows a SteadyState computer supports Microsoft Update, Windows update or WindowServer Update Services.

The supported security program updates are limited the only programs that have native support are Computer Associates eTrust 7.0, McAfee VirusScan, and TrendMicro 7.0. You have the option of creating a custom script to handle any other program updates you may need. In a domain environment this can easily be handled by central update servers such as SMS and AV servers.

Windows disk protection allows the user to install any programs they want or download whatever they wish, but the hard drive will just wipe out the data. I can’t seem to find a registry or policy equivalent that allows this, so it seems that this is one main benefit of steady state.

The “Add a New User” screen only allows you to create local users which doesn’t really help you in a secure domain based enviroment. It will however check you domain’s password policy’s that you may have pushed down to the machine via group policy. If you do use this wizard to create accounts be aware that user policies from the domain can not be applied.

The first screen of User Settings is the “General” tab. Here we get into some more unique settings to the SteadyState product. While it has the function to prevent the user from making permanent changes the most interesting thing is the log off options, The ability to add a maximum amount of use time or an idle time is done by the use of two helper applications that are installed with SteadyState. Being able to always display the session countdown allows the user to see how much time they have left before the log off procedure is invoked. Restart computer after log off allows the Windows Disk Protection to kick in and reset the machine back to a clean state. While this is nice, the same option could be invoked by creating a log-off script.

The User Settings \ Windows Restrictions tab allows you to hide drives, set default restriction levels and takes the start menu restrictions straight out of the security policy. This is simple to replicate with a domain group policy.

Screen 2 of Windows Restrictions

Screen 3 of Windows Restrictions

Screen 4 of Windows Restrictions

Feature restrictions are more policies that have been taken straight out of the local security policy (domain policy manager).

Screen 2 of Feature Restrictions

Screen 3 of Feature Restrictions

Screen 4 of Feature Restrictions

While SteadyState allows you to block certain programs, locally installed antivirus can normally do this. Normally you wouldn’t want this in a kiosk environment. A better scenario is using group policies to allow only the programs you specify to run. Using the SteadyState scenario if someone ran a rogue application off their USB drive (if you’ve given them access) or renamed an EXE that was blocked that doesn’t need registry access, well I doubt that SteadyState could do anything to stop this.

Importing users is done via a normal windows save/open dialogue box. It loads files done with a supported *.ssu extenstion.

Exporting is done in a proprietary *.ssu file extension once again using the standard windows open / save dialogue box.

Can I recommend SteadyState?

For 90% of what it does I wouldn’t use SteadyState at all but would personally rely on centrally controlled and maintained group policies within a domain environement. What does shine though is the Windows Drive Protection and the helper utilities that handle logoff timers – though with the idle time out I would more likely just use a script I controlled which could be invoked by the screensaver kicking in.

I didn’t go through each of the group policies under the user restrictions since it’s almost verbatim down the list under the policy management. If you have any questions on a setting to restrict without using the SteadyState feel free to ask. The biggest disadvantage to SteadyState is the fact that it uses local accounts that can’t be managed remotely with ease. Being at a company where everything is done to avoid using local accounts I can say this is bad mojo.

I may use the the drive protection and timeout applications, we’ll see when this project is truly finished.

Reference Links:

Windows SteadyState Worldwide page

Windows SteadyState Readme File

Windows SteadyState Technical FAQ

Windows SteadyState Handbook

The Desktop Files: Shared Computing with Windows SteadyState

The Kiosk Series:

The Kiosk Series – Part One – Choices For Your Environment

The Kiosk Series – Part Two – Management Considerations For Your Environment

The Kiosk Series – Part One – Choices For Your Environment

Creeva — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:07:47 +0000

Recently I’ve been put forth to design a kiosk solution for our internal environment. This is the first part of my kiosk series which is going to examine testing and deployment of such a system.

Kiosk Options

When discussing kiosk system we need to discuss the scope, security issues, and functionality requirements that we must maintain to achieve a successful deployment. There are many types of kiosk systems that we can implement within the Company network. The solutions we are going to describe in this document are based on product literature that we have received after scope is finalized actual product testing will be done so we can verify that all the features work as described and will function within the deployed environment.

For the sake of categorization the following options were identified as possible for use within a kiosk environment. This list is not meant to be all encompassing but rather a list of desired features that we feel can be accomplished from the products we are looking at.

·   Internal Websites – company Designated
·   External Websites – Completely open from a kiosk standpoint
·   SSL VPN – For access to the internal network
·   Citrix – for terminal server capabilities
·   Printing – locally attached print
·   Sound – for hearing active embedded media
·   USB Mounting – for USB memory sticks
·   Run Apps Locally (Read Only) – from either the memory stick or kiosk directly
·   Run Apps Locally (Read / Write) – from either the memory stick or kiosk directly
·   Write to USB Memory Stick – from kiosk
·   Access to User Documents
·   No Login – completely is designed to start being used without login
·   Boiler Plate Website – standard start page
·   Full application list
·   Internal – Authentication
·   External – No Authentication
·   Browser Plug-ins – for enhanced compatibility
·   Restricted To Certain Web Sites – Company Designated

Kiosk mode systems come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and functions. To help narrow the design gap for our needs we have devised eight categories in which we can work around design structures for:

·   Full web only access kiosk on the company guest network
·   Limited web access on the company guest network with a locked down browser
·   Full web only access kiosk on the internal network
·   Limited web access on the internal network with a locked down browser
·   Limited seat with security controls on the company guest network
·   Limited seat with security controls on the internal network
·   Full seat with security controls on the company guest network
·   Full seat open use office solution – internal network
·   Full seat with security Controls open use office on the internal network

Each solution has its own benefits and concerns for deployment. We will be going over these one by one to analyze and work with company to implement the correct and desired solution. The analysis will include which functions identified above can be implemented, target placement, target users, benefits and disadvantages of each solutions, and possible security concerns.

Full web only access kiosk on the company guest network:

Description: This would be a fully open web kiosk with an address bar located at the top with the web browser being the only application available to the end user. All functions must be done within the browser.

Possible targeted functions:

·   Internal Websites – via SSL VPN
·   External Websites –
·   SSL VPN
·   Citrix – via SSL VPN
·   Printing – locally attached print
·   Sound – for hearing active embedded media
·   Access to My Docs – Via SSL VPN
·   No Login – completely is designed to start being used without login
·   Boiler Plate Website – standard start page
·   External – No Authentication
·   Browser Plug-ins – for enhanced compatibility

Target placement:

· Public areas where guests are most likely

Target users:

·   Visitors
·   Visiting Contractors
·   Local Contractors
·   Company Employees

Benefits:

· Allows users access to information at placement points
· User will not have access to the local computer beyond the web browser

Disadvantages:

· All functions must be performed must be performed within a browser
· Won’t be able to perform other application tasks

Security concerns:

· If a user leaves an authenticated session up there will be a time delay before the profile resets, risking possible exposure of private data or company data if the SSL VPN was used.
· Unsigned Active-X controls could cause issues and it would be recommended denying unsigned Active-X controls.

Limited web access on the company guest network with a locked down browser:

Description: This solution can be configured with or without an address bar allowing the option to restrict this to certain web sites. Active X would be disabled.

Possible targeted functions:

·   External Websites
·   Printing
·   Sound
·   No Login
·   Boiler Plate Website External – No Authentication
·   Restricted To Certain Web Sites

Target placement:

· Public areas where guests are most likely

Target users:

·   Visitors
·   Visiting Contractors
·   Local Contractors
·   Company Employees

Benefits:

·   Tighter Security Controls
·   Limited Risk Exposure
·   Option of controlling where the users can go via the browser

Disadvantages:

·   SSL VPN will not work if active-x controls are disabled
·   All functions must be performed must be performed within a browser
·   Won’t be able to perform other application tasks
·   With no SSL-VPN – no access to internal company data

Security concerns:

· If a user leaves an authenticated session up there will be a time delay before the profile resets, risking possible exposure of private data.

Full web only access kiosk on the internal network:

Description: While not recommended this is being offered as an option for choice. It has the same features as the Full web only access kiosk on the company guest network, but would require user authentication due to the network access it has.

Possible targeted functions:

·   Internal Websites
·   External Websites
·   Citrix
·   Printing
·   Sound
·   Access to My Docs
·   Boiler Plate Website
·   Internal
·   Browser Plug-ins

Target placement:

· Public sites within company buildings that are not commonly visited by the large amounts of visitors at once. This would be to limit the amount of time that authenticated data is available if a user walks away from the kiosk.
· Would not be recommended at location that the general public has access to

Target users:

· Local Contractors
· Company Employees

Benefits:

· Company employees would be able to access their Webmail from anywhere these are placed
· Company employees would be able to access a terminal server session from anywhere these are placed

Disadvantages:

· All functions must be performed must be performed within a browser
· Won’t be able to perform other application tasks

Security concerns:

· Possible information leakage due to open Webmail or terminal server session.
· Unsigned Active-X controls could cause issues and it would be recommended denying unsigned Active-X controls.

Limited web access on the internal network with a locked down browser:

Description: While not recommended this is being offered as an option for choice. It has the same features as the limited access kiosk on the company guest network, but would require user authentication due to the network access it has.

Possible targeted functions:

·   External Websites
·   Printing
·   Sound
·   No Login
·   Boiler Plate Website External – No Authentication
·   Restricted To Certain Web Sites

Target placement:

Target users:

· Local Contractors
· Company Employees

Benefits:

·   Company employees would be able to access their Webmail from anywhere these are placed
·   Company employees would be able to access a terminal server session from anywhere these are placed
·   Tighter Security Controls
·   Limited Risk Exposure
·   Option of controlling where the users can go via the browser

Disadvantages:

·   All functions must be performed must be performed within a browser
·   Won’t be able to perform other application tasks
·   Some sites won’t work due to Active-X being disabled

Security concerns:

· Possible information leakage due to open Webmail or terminal server session.

Limited seat with security controls on the company guest network:

Description: This would be a scenario where we would have an open standard windows desktop for the user to access. It would allow only certain applications to run but will give the user access to a portable memory stick for use.

Possible targeted functions:

·   Internal Websites – via SSL VPN
·   External Websites
·   SSL VPN
·   Citrix – via SSL VPN
·   Printing
·   Sound
·   Access to My Docs – Via SSL VPN
·   No Login
·   Boiler Plate Website
·   External
·   Browser Plug-ins
·   USB Mounting
·   Write to USB Memory Stick
·   No Login
·   Boiler Plate Website
·   Browser Plug-ins
·   Restricted To Certain Web Sites – company Designated

Target placement:

· Public open use office space

Target users:

·   Visiting Contractors
·   Local Contractors
·   Company Employees

Benefits:

·   Allows users access to information at placement points
·   Access to certain designated applications
·   Controlled environment

Disadvantages:

· Won’t be able to perform non designated application tasks

Security concerns:

·   Possible information leakage due to open Webmail or SSL VPN session.
·   Unsigned Active-X controls could cause issues and it would be recommended denying unsigned Active-X controls.
·   Possible application vulnerabilities could compromise the unit

Limited seat with security controls on the internal network:

Description: Same as the limited seat on the company guest network but designed for internal GRC employees. Smart card access would be recommended and roaming profiles blocked.

Possible targeted functions:

·   Internal Websites
·   External Websites
·   Citrix
·   Printing
·   Sound
·   Access to My Docs
·   Boiler Plate Website
·   Browser Plug-ins
·   USB Mounting
·   Write to USB Memory Stick
·   Boiler Plate Website
·   Internal – Authentication
·   Browser Plug-ins
·   Restricted To Certain Web Sites – company Designated

Target placement:

· Public open use office space

Target users:

· Local Contractors
· Company Employees

Benefits:

·   Allows users access to information at placement points
·   Access to certain designated applications
·   Controlled environment

Disadvantages:

· Won’t be able to perform non designated application tasks
· Large threat to data being exposed

Security concerns:

·   Unsigned Active-X controls could cause issues and it would be recommended denying unsigned Active-X controls.
·   Possible information leakage due to be on the open internal network
·   Large data exposure footprint
·   Possible application vulnerabilities could compromise the unit

Full seat with security controls on the company guest network:

Description: This option would give users to the same standard applications as their normal desktop. The hard drive would not be written to for data storage. Roaming profiles would be blocked. These seat would also have full security controls applied to it.

Possible targeted functions:

·   Internal Websites
·   External Websites
·   SSL VPN
·   Citrix
·   Printing
·   Sound
·   USB Mounting
·   Run Apps Locally (Read Only)
·   Run Apps Locally (Read / Write)
·   Write to USB Memory Stick
·   Access to My Docs
·   No Login – completely is designed to start being used without login
·   Boiler Plate Website
·   Full Application Suite
·   External – No Authentication
·   Browser Plug-ins
·   Restricted To Certain Web Sites – company Designated

Target placement:

· Public open use office space

Target users:

· Local Contractors
· company Employees

Benefits:

· Users are able to function as they would at their desks
· Allows users access to information at placement points

Disadvantages:

· No login requirements
· Possible data exposure

Security concerns:

· Unsigned Active-X controls could cause issues and it would be recommended denying unsigned Active-X controls.
· Possible information leakage due to open Webmail or SSL VPN session.

Full seat open use office solution on the internal network:

Description: Standard full seat for user to use on the internal network located at open access points for any user to access. Security settinga would be applied and user profile data removed upon log out. It is recommended to require smart card access to these units.

Possible targeted functions:

·   Internal Websites
·   External Websites
·   Citrix
·   Printing
·   Sound
·   USB Mounting
·   Run Apps Locally (Read Only)
·   Run Apps Locally (Read / Write)
·   Write to USB Memory Stick
·   Access to My Docs
·   Boiler Plate Website
·   Full Application Suite
·   Internal Authentication
·   Browser Plug-ins

Target placement:

· Public open use office space

Target users:

· Local Contractors
· Company Employees

Benefits:

· Users are able to function as they would at their desks
· Allows users access to information at placement points

Disadvantages:

· Requires smart card
· No access to local profiles

Security concerns:

· Possible information leakage due to open sessions.

Intrepid’s History, An Entertainers Farewell

Creeva — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 15:54:09 +0000

SWG, what a long strange journey it’s been.

So I’m here finally quitting Star Wars Galaxies for the last time. I don’t play anymore and the latest CSR announcement about accepting AFK game play as the norm was the straw that broke the camels back. One person said I need help if this is the reason I quit. I retorted that since I don’t play and have continued to pay as token support for SWG and Intrepid’s survival that I’m more mental for continuing a subscription.

The long journey with Star Wars Galaxies began almost 5 years ago. I purchased that game at launch and dealing with the launch day crashing I managed to create a character on Gorath. My wife played with me and we ooed and ahhed at the online world. It was the first MMO for both of us and we loved it.

Two days later Gorath was down and I wanted to get in and explore some more. Originally I wanted to be a smuggler ala Han Solo, but I decided for a laugh I was going to create an Entertainer. Intrepid was the server that was available and chose to land there. Choosing my planet and destination I landed on Talus. I wanted to Tyrena since that was where I hung out for a day on Gorath and I was familiar with it. After earning enough money on Talus I moved to Tyrena and never looked back.

The first day in Tyrena was an experience. I hooked up with other entertainers; of course they were all ATK since AFKing didn’t exist yet. The pseudo leader of the cantina at the time was Kathryn, who more or less had business ideas galore. She had us running advertisements around the shuttle port for a tailor named Bifein. There were many of us there in Tyrena, and while I’m sure I’ll leave some important people I’ll give out some of the names. The entertainer crowd was formed by Agaar, Neena-Marie, Silentbob, Xie ‘lanthia, Candyce, Punasti, Moya’, Alich, Kathryn, and Lanfear. Most notable customers were Astrolite (Sliced the first Light Saber in SWG), Blood (founder of EIS), Shinjo (Intrepid’s Original Bad Boy), Nemo (Intrepid’s First Master Architect), and Davinci (arguably the best Weapon smith and quest master that Intrepid ever saw).

The group of Tyrena Entertainers formed Star Dragon Entertainment, I was the spokesman and comedian of the group, Xie more or less controlled the dancers and organization of the groups. She also named the band. Star Dragon entertainment folded into SCO which became SGO. Some members like NeenaMarie stayed with them until the NGE hit. SCO was Intrepid’s first guild ever built by Nemo. I was asked to be head of the entertainers but I declined I wanted a guild of my own.

Back when we had to pay for training all the entertainers would pool money together to get a new skill, since the person getting the skill could then train others for free. We were very communal and worked together to get things done. Xie and I mastered Entertainer and decided to go out in the big huge world. We visited Mos Eisley, the busiest and most bustling area of activity in the galaxy; there were 4-5 full groups of 20 players playing in groups at the same time in the Eisley Cantina. It was insane and fun but definitely too busy for me. We journeyed to Naboo, where the people there acted like they had a pikeman’s lance shoved up to you know where, but almost as busy as Eisley. Finally we wandered to Coronet where we met the second group of people that we would forever refer to as friends, Imcus Vree, En-chi Lada, and Chon Wang. We performed together and called ourselves the Def Stars.

Around this time Period a tailor out side of Coronet had just mastered a certain box of field wear that allowed him to craft gunmen’s duster. The place was insane with shoppers and Mokilok was the king of tailoring on Intrepid for a time because of it. I still own the Mokilok Duster I purchased that day. When I managed to visit once to get a custom order he had built himself a throne surrounded by torches and to say the least he was a unique individual. A weapon smith outside of the Coronet was close to mastering and was known for making the best guns at the time. His name was Idunno Udunno. While I know I won’t remember all of them, Idunno, Zarina, and Mokilok were pivotal in creating the group that was known galaxy wide as the Corellian Mafia.

During this time I made money traveling from Cantina to Cantina across the galaxy selling instruments. I made a healthy profit off of it. Though one time I got stuck on Rori for a few hours until Davinci could wire me enough credits so I could fly back to Naboo. I was known for crafting instruments and was one of the main sellers in the Galaxy. So much that Moya’ made everyone promise not mention that he was selling instruments and cutting into my sales. I do know that Neill who still posts on the Entertainer forums made a special request for me to fly all the way to some out of the way Cantina to deliver him a special crafted instrument. Thankfully just as prices were starting to kick up I managed to start buying weapon power ups off the bazaar in Coronet and taking them to Tyrena Bazaar and sealing them for a profit. I made a pretty penny (for this time period) and then one day I was tipped 276521 credits – still an important figure for me. All my friends at the time thought I was rich, and I thought for the longest time that it was credits gotten through an exploit (that should tell some of you how bad inflation is today).

One day Xie and I being master entertainers were invited to a “Masters Ball” since there were so few masters of any profession at that time it was an honor and a select few. We wanted to take friends to share in the event as we were allowed to bring any guest we may like. Xie took along Moya’ and I took along Alich. They were both still working up in the entertainer profession and thought it would be nice to have them mingle along with us. Little did I know that the two wookiees thought that these were traditional dates. This became apparent when Xie lost her life and Moya’ mourned the loss, I had to explain to Alich that my lekkus don’t swing that way. Though I still heard about it from Moya’ for years. I just mention that Moya’ managed to watch his date murdered and didn’t do anything to stop it.

Moya’ did manage to get me back. Talking in the Tyrena cantina with En-chi Lada, Moya’, Candyce, and Xie I believe; I was complaining that the cantina didn’t have any restrooms and as far as I could decipher I couldn’t find any public restrooms at all.

Moya’ then told En-Chi and myself that he had seen a restroom over in the Tyrena hotel. The Tyrena Hotel? Why that was just across the street. I had been holding my bodily functions for so long and salvation was so close? Why had the Galactic gods tormented me so by having a restroom so close by.

En-chi and I rushed over to the hotel in hope of relieving ourselves. We searched that hotel from top to bottom (ok it’s only one floor but there was another argument with Moya’ over elevators). We started screaming at Moya’ . Moya’ came over and started trying to find this infamous restroom. It seems the wookiee thought a decorative alcove was a restroom – it seems that you should never tell a wookiee how to get to the indoor restroom – always walk them there. On a side note because of this incident I finally built a restroom in my house and that toilet got a lot of use.

I parlayed my money into more buying and reselling and eventually got the credits over 1 million after a couple weeks. Around this time period Davinci sent me a tell while I was performing in the Tyrena Cantina, he told me “Ding, I did it”- after clarifying he had made the highest damage laser rifles in the galaxy. He named them the widow maker – there was another customer so Davinci held a number guessing contest to choose the buyers. Since I was buying two I got two guesses. All said and done I managed to get both the highest DPS rifle on the server (I still own it) and the lowest mind cost rifle on the server (Xie still owns hers).

Going back to the funny incidents there was a player named Clark Griswold on the Intrepid who managed to loose the waypoint to his house. A server wide search north of Theed went on to looking for his house. Out of a joke En-Chi and I managed to buy and identically styled house and place it down. Naming it Clark‘s house. The next day cheers were going on that someone had found Clark‘s house. En-chi and I were rolling over this. Clark went to the waypoint and tried to get in but didn’t manage to get through the door. He then figured out the ruse and realized it wasn’t his house. A big outrage started from certain people on the forum and En-Chi and I owned up to it instead of slinking away. Afterwards it was quite a joke and everyone laughed.

I worked in starting the first museums on the Intrepid server, trying catalogue and save every little thing I could find. Padre helped me in my hunt on collecting anything and everything rare. I never sold a donation and every donation I received when I closed the museums later was donated to other people, or I still have them. It was never for me, I never made a dime off it. I did it for the server community and that’s where I spent most of my money. Unfortunately two days before my public opening someone else opened a museum. I can say I started the first museum on Intrepid, but mine was the second opened to the public. Mine was made of 4 medium Naboo buildings filled to the brim. I was quite proud of that.

A new person came onto the scene at this time. His name was Keltrien. He had big ideas and bigger ambitions. After working through some starter thoughts on the message boards for a few weeks he decided he was going to run a server wide festival. He pulled it off with Xie and I gathering entertainers to perform and his working the money makers on the server for donations. Groovefest was born and Keltrien said it was good.

Keltrien went on to run many more Groovefest and whether it was from direct help or indirect (renting vendor space) I helped him whenever I could. I can say the other festivals the server has seen since have never been as big as the one’s Keltrien threw. This was an atmosphere with hundreds of people milling about, shopping, and having a good time. Keltrien managed to start a city on Tatooine just to hold Groovefest events in. Keltrien went on to start a regular weekly speeder bike competition and a droid fighting competition. Keltrien did a lot for Intrepid’s community and he shouldn’t be forgotten for that.

Keltrien however didn’t own a monopoly on large scale events. Another event started was a music performance competition and it was arranged by Jerik. Jerik started the IJB (Intrepid Jam Bonanza) competition. Most the Def Stars had stopped being entertainers, but Xie and I thought we would enter one last competition as the Def Stars. There were only two of us and we needed a third. We recruited Moya’. We rehearsed and polished our macros for the competition. The day of the competition we managed to get our guild hall. We showed up at the competition with the DEF guild tag above our heads. Ironically you would have thought this was a normal music competition, by today’s standards it was but then it was something different. They wanted to know who wanted to go when, we fought for and won the right to go last place. The entire competition went on and then we were on. Everyone thought that it was going to be the same song arrangement. For the entertainers in the group that can audilize it, we played Starwars1 – with 2 mandoviol’s and an omnibox. So we had a true rock and roll sound. Not only that we sung lyrics. Singing lyrics was unheard of in the cantina or in competition. None of the other competitors sang, some think we demeaned the competition. But to every other non entrant there it blew them away and we won. Ironically for all those on Intrepid that have to endure all the entertainers singing in the cantina now, you’re welcome.

Here are the lyrics as performed at the IJB by the Def Stars

The AFK Entertainer

I’m the afk entertainer
And I know just where to stand
Another AFKer
Another macro band
Today I am your healer
I may have won your creds
But I know the game
You’ll forget my name
And I won’t be here for a jawa beer
If I don’t stay on the star charts

Chorus:
Oh yeah, macro baby macro
Oh yeah, macro baby macro

I’m the afk entertainer
And I’ve had to pay my price
The things I did not know at first
I got free training, NICE!
Ah but still it comes to haunt me
My tailor I need to pay
So I’ve learned to dance
With a macro and hot pants
I rub their neck and give my macro a check
As they tip because their BF goes way

Chorus:
Oh yeah, macro baby macro
Oh yeah, macro baby macro

I’m the afk entertainer
Been all around the worlds
I’ve said “tip me” in every cantina
And I’ve spammed with my dancer girl
I can’t remember faces
I don’t remember names
Ah but what the heck
I give my macro one last check
‘Cause after a while and a thousand galactic miles
The grind is still the same

Chorus:
Oh yeah, macro baby macro
Oh yeah, macro baby macro
Oh yeah, macro baby macro
TIP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now we won a million credits and to put it into Intrepid’s current inflation terms – that would between 150-200 million. That’s how much purchasing power that bought. I wanted to use the money to start a city – “New Tyrena”. We purchased our city hall and were ready to go, I was going to be mayor and Imcus was going to be the city planner. Well the city planner profession was scrapped, but Imcus was still the designer. We spent weeks looking for a spot and finally found one. We were ready, the City patch came, and we were too slow. The planet was already capped. A week or two later SOE decided to raise the planetary caps and we managed to get our city down. Symphonia was born and it still stands there today.

We spent a couple nights packing up and moving all the museums from their current location to Symphonia, these building became the back wall of Symphonia’s main quad. We grew and flourished and focused on DEF being an entertainer only guild and Symphonia a city dedicated to the arts. Then because of personal reasons I had to quit the game suddenly without telling anyone except I sent a message to Moya’ . I gave Moya’ access to my accounts to move things around but I wasn’t logging in. They held a funeral for the character Creeva in Symphonia, and it was SWG’s first as far as anyone could tell (this was Jan 2004). Looking at screenshots I’ve seen of that day it seems at least 50 people showed up. This was to a funeral in a video game. Imcus and Moya’ wrote a song called Sgt. Creeva’s Band. I was touched even being outside the game. The museums were saved and life would go on.

After a month or two I managed to get things straightened out so I could log back in. At this time I was welcomed with joy. Imcus had taken over as mayor and still is to this day. The museums grew and life went on. Well I’m sure there are some significant issues that happened around this time, more Groovefest and such. A dark peril started circling the galaxy the AFK entertainer and the hologrind. The AFKing had been growing for months but grew to a peak when Monika unlocked the first Jedi Akinom on the Intrepid server. I was there in Coronet the first night the first Jedi was wandering SWG. It was awe inspiring. My RL friend Astrolite managed to slice her light saber, getting the no trade item across via droid storage compartment – now that’s a true smuggler. The appearance of the Jedi showed that unlocking professions was the path – this lead to the hologrind.

The hologrind was a way of life the cantina were piled full of AFKers just trying to master the profession so they could move on to the next one. What made matters worse in SOE’s attempt to encourage this they gave everyone holocron’s for x-mas. Some people received two since there was a bug where some players never received the first one. This further increased the use of holocrons to discover what profession you needed next to finish your path onto Jedi. I can say that I never opened my holocrons and it is still on display at the Entertainer Museum in Symphonia. The golden age of SWG was over and a new dawn was coming. I was a strong anti-afk advocate but in the minority the ATK entertainers were overwhelmed.

There were good times and bad times during this stage, DEF had added more members over time. Amber and Siri being the most notable. Outside of Moya’ and Imcus, Amber has been the longest member of DEF. Siri was the largest cross server superstar (out side ourselves of course :P) to join the guild. The guild however wasn’t growing and disagreements on who to bring and who not to lead slowly to a partial dissolution. Xie had wanted more of a consensus instead of taking weeks to guild a member and she wanted to step down from being the decision maker of the guild, she was mostly the decision make since she was the tie maker or breaker and was kind of the unofficial leader because of it. Moya’ and I were doing the museum thing, especially with starting the Wookiee Cultural Center in Symphonia. Imcus was busy chasing his Jedi dream (no holocrons were used as far as I know) so Xie was kind of left holding the back. Things had come to a point and the SWG combat upgrade hit us smack in the face.

Xie and forced the issue with the guild on two fronts. Because of the combat upgrade I was going to leave the guild for awhile, I was respeccing out of entertainer and I didn’t think I should be in a guild called the Dedicated Entertainment Foundation without being an entertainer. Xie wanted more cantina time for the guild and thought that while DEF should remain, if they weren’t going to be in the cantina’s and actively working as entertainers that we should take entertainment out of the guild name. Ironically Siri left Intrepid forever to get away from the fame and because DEF never really supported her in the guild. Things were quickly creeping up.

SOE finally decided to give entertainers a little bit of love and brought out a new song and dance via a theater quest and at this time Jerik decided it was time to do another IJB. There had been IJB’s since the first but DEF resisted entering them but this one was rumored to be the last one. DEF had members enter in the other band’s to perform in the IJB but we didn’t compete as a group. For the last IJB we came together again (except Xie who sat it out), since Xie wasn’t there we weren’t going to use the Def Star name. So we came up with the Def Spurs. The Def Spurs came in second, there was some controversy over this since the winning band had gotten a do-over because they screwed up. I still think that comes with territory. I stilled performed a lot at this time and with the big credit duping scandal there was massive in game protests. Xie relayed news to me at work and a fledging Intrepid organization came into being. The INN – the Intrepid News Network. Ironically their news coverage made it to the major gaming blogs and they were an Intrepid staple for some time to come.

Whichever Groovefest it was at this time – I did my own protest song. Which caught on quite a bit:

Soe Idiot

Don’t want to be an SOE idiot.
Don’t want a galaxy that under the new regiment.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The SOE mods tried silent it.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Intrepid nation.
Everything isn’t meant to be okay.
More nerfs and bans coming tomorrow.
We’re not the ones who’re meant to follow.
Well that’s enough to argue.

Well maybe I’m the sad little boardy.
but I’m not a part of a duper minority.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.

Don’t want to be an SOE idiot.
Giving bans to 11 year old innocents.
Merchants are all in hysteria.
It’s going out to idiot developers.

Everything building up and Xie and I took the guild aside and explained our concerns on what had been happening and our thoughts. Because of a continual lack of consensus and everyone wanting not to hurt anyone else’s feelings, Xie and I left the guild. Her for lack of entertainer focus and not changing the guild name to reflect it, myself for leaving entertainer. From my understanding the members left behind in DEF feel we betrayed them and had a united front against them in our leaving. Xie and I each had our own reasons just the timing happened the same day.

I stayed a member of Symphonia, maintained my museums and my vendors. My vendors were pulling in millions a week, that’s saying a lot for a player who only bought low and sold low. I would say I only crafted less then 1% of everything I’ve sold. For this sake of argument I will also include gathering resources as crafting since I never had lots for harvesters. I kept all my resources regardless of quality at identical pricing and maintained some of the best prices on the server with the largest variety. For my rarities, I would buy out other vendors and then make my prices the cheapest in the galaxy. I made huge profits on quantity instead of price gouging.

The combat upgrade was in full effect and the silver age of Star Wars galaxies had come to a halt.

I could discuss the village and other grinds and stories that go along in this time, but I still have more to tell and this tale is already quite lengthy. We fast forward to the NGE, ironically because I was moving across country and internet service would be spotty I quit SWG for awhile. Xie had quit a few months before me.

After settling into a new house that I bought I decided it was time to check out SWG again. I conned Xie into coming back with me. We both wanted to be in an Entertainer guild again, but knew DEF was not focused that was anymore. SO we started STARS – the story of STARS is here: http://creeva.com/2006/08/08/the-story-of-star/ we resurrected at the time the idea of an Intrepid news source at http://stars-of-intrepid.blogspot.com and the biggest hit was the Intrepid History quiz: http://stars-of-intrepid.blogspot.com/2007/01/ips-intrepid-quiz-how-many-can-you.html

We did fall into the same stagnation as we did with DEF though and it fell it apart. It just proves that no matter how passionate or dedicated you are that no true entertainer guild that promotes ATK survives on Intrepid. We also managed to start a new city called Pirates Retreat on Rori, it started falling apart after the housing cleanup. That’s fine, I never really wanted a shuttle, but many residents did. So all in all I founded two cities dedicated to entertainment and two guilds dedicated to the same.

For my in game tales I’ll leave it at that. I’ve been an active member since launch in the Intrepid and Entertainer forums. I was in the running for being the first musician correspondent. I wrote many tipping, etiquette and performance guides for entertainers on the forums. I did what I could to promote ATK entertainer all the time. I started the infamous IPS on the Intrepid forums and it lives on today in its fifth generation. I will miss it. I will keep posting until I can’t anymore, but my account runs out March 1st. 2008. Ant with that I’ll be gone from in game so I’m posting this now while I still can.

Some of you are going to deride this tale that I’ve relayed. That’s fine, you are not the ones I’m trying to reach. SWG has been a place for friends and communities. Friendships crafted here transcend the game and forge real life bonds. I may not be an entertaining superstar in real life, but I am now playing in two real life community bands. The friendships I have there are not as strong as the ones I’ve made here. I’ve spent 1/6 of my life on Intrepid. It has been a good journey. I’ve made friends I email daily. I’m working on a real life business venture with Keltrien. I have had dinner on the coast with Moya’. These are real thing and real people.

Some people think this is just a game. It never was met to be. It was a community. A community you can’t find anywhere else, I’ve looked. You can’t get both sides together and socialize and have fun. Either the social side is terrible or they keep factions apart. For those of you that understand what I’m saying and have that, hang on to it. Literally 99% of the people I counted closest to me are gone. It is my time to join them. SOE not policing any AFKing for any professions was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

No you can’t have my stuff. I will be logging in tonight though. I do make one last promise to Intrepid and then I will be silent on what I can offer. I promise as long as there is at least a few days notice, I will be back the final month of the game. The final day I will be performing in the Tyrena cantina, I will perform there that day, until the servers go black never again to alight.

To end on a corny note, May the force be with you, always.

The GFQ5 Story About Creeva

Creeva — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:01:59 +0000

To give the history on this – GF stood for Groovefest – this was an in game festival run by a play named Keltrien in the video game Star Wars Galaxies (SWG). The festival was on it’s fifth iteration and in celebration their was going to be this elaborate quest written by a player named Niix. I was featured as part of this and somewhere out there is a video with my avatar in it. This story was written by Niix as being in the quest creator. This is the part that did feature me or rather my character Creeva. If Niix has any issue with this please let me know and I am not taking credit nor robbing hte original creator of any copyright he owns over this work.

CHAPTER 1

NABOO – GRN – Diametric Parsecs (show #1138) –

ANNOUNCER: The following is a special presentation of GRN Broadcasting

[Title Sequence]

ANCHOR: Welcome to a very special Diametric Parsecs show. Tonight, we are extremely fortunate to have an interview with a ghost; a very famous ghost. Tonight, we sit down with the legendary Creeva Murkado for the first interview he has given since before his mysterious and much talk about disappearance. But, first, let’s take a look at some of this week’s other top stories…

[Headlines]

INT: Thanks, Halla. [To camera] Perhaps you haven’t heard his haunting kloo melodies. Perhaps you missed his meteoric rise to fame. Perhaps you don’t know the inherent weight of his poignant lyrics. Perhaps you’ve been on a deep space exploration mission. If any of those are true for you: welcome back to the core worlds, outrider. This is Creeva Murkado, as we have had the pleasure of knowing him then.

[Montage of musical appearance and stock footage]

INT: And this is Creeva Murkado as we know him now.

[Camera shows the musician sitting across from the interviewer]

INT: Thank you very much for coming, Maestro Murkado.

CM: Just Creeva will do.

INT: Well, Creeva, it’s safe to say we all wonder how you’ll top your last stir.

CM: [Chuckles]

INT: After becoming one of the most recognizable stars and most sought after musicians in the galaxy since Crying Dawn Singer, you achieved even more notoriety by suddenly vanishing from out scanners. And then, you return just as mysteriously as you disappeared. What’s next?

CM: I was thinking about a warm glass of milk.

INT: [Laughs] May not be as celebrated as your return.

CM: Won’t know until I try. The public interest is fickle and enigmatic.

INT: When you went missing, a thousand theories were put forth. Among them, you had been abducted by rebels, killed by pirates, had a nervous breakdown, suffered a drug overdose, committed suicide, were murdered by hutts … the list goes on. In fact, Ambassador Moyakashkaykrit even went so far as to claim a body had been found in Symphonia. What really happened? Where did you go? Billions of people want to know.

CM: Billions of people also want to know what’s in our neighbouring galaxies. I think that’s far more important than where one man went.

INT: Is that where you went: Across galaxies on a spiritual journey of inner and outer exploration? That is one of the theories put forth by some.

CM: Actually, I went to the corner market and got lost in the vegetables section.

INT: I’ll take that as a ‘no’.

CM: Feel free to take it however you like, my friend. I took it for two small bags of opplocs with some powdered icing for dipping.

INT: [Sighs] I can see you haven’t lost your talent for being cryptic. [To camera] When we come back, I’ll have more questions for Creeva Murkado, a musical genius and enigma.

[Cut to commercial]

[Excerpt from a recorded Creeva concert]

INT: Now, Maestro Murkado (Creeva), you won’t tell us where you went but can you tell us why you left the spotlight for so long, and so mysteriously?

CM: The Why of anything is almost always much more important than the Where of it.

INT: Precisely!

CM: Precisely.

[Awkward silence]

INT: Well, what I meant to ask was…

CM: …why did I leave?

INT: Yes!

CM: Yes.

INT: Yes?

CM: Yes.

INT: But, Yes to what?

CM: Yes; that’s why I left.

INT: What is why?

CM: Oh, What is rarely ever Why.

INT: Well, what is it that you’ve said is the reason for your disappearance?

CM: I didn’t; you did.

INT: Then could you elaborate on the reasoning? I’m afraid you’ve lost me.

CM: Elaborate more than simply Why?

INT: Well, yes!

CM: Well, no.

INT: Oh.

CM: [Chuckles] Isn’t the search for knowledge a wonderful thing? Let me confess; I’m playing a little here. The reason I left is ‘Why?’ Why me? Why now? Why this? Why not that? Life had become so secure that I had stopped doing the second most important thing in my life – questioning things. When you stop examining who you are and where you are and what you are doing, you are no longer grounded. You cannot always look to the future. You need to be aware of the present and mindful of the past. To quote a great writer: “The past tempts us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us. And our lives slip away, moment by moment, lost in that vast terrible in-between.”

INT: So you realized this and left for parts unknown?

CM: Not so much realized it as felt it. There is quite a difference between the two.

INT: Some would say the suddenness of your unannounced departure could be interpreted as, forgive me, selfish.

CM: [Laughs] There were more qualifiers in that sentence than the start of a pod-racing tournament. Don’t you mean that you would call it selfish?

INT: Well, erm, I wasn’t implying any assumption on my part. Only, um, your colleagues and friends had to scramble to address the responsibilities you left behind. Not to mention the storm of media inquiries and the billions of fans left wondering…

CM: My colleagues are my business, but they wouldn’t be my friends if I had ever thought them to worry about a little thing like this. And if I made billions of fans wonder at ‘why?’, if I made them stop simply regurgitating my words and my so-called wisdom, and made them actually think for themselves, then the good far outweighs the bad.

INT: What, then, prompted your return?

CM: The lure of the crowd.

INT: But you have neither recorded nor performed before any sizeable audience since your return.

CM: When you are alone for a time, the prerequisite for the term ‘crowd’ grows small.

INT: Well, when we come back, we’ll see what’s in the future for the always enigmatic Creeva Murkado.

[Cut to commercial]

[Excerpt from Creeva accepting an award]

INT: Welcome back! I’m [interviewer name] here with Maestro Creeva Murkado; musician, poet, philosopher. So, Creeva, now that you’ve returned to us, what are your plans? Will you return to the prominence of before?

CM: Maybe.

INT: Recording?

CM: Maybe.

INT: Touring?

CM Maybe.

INT: Writing?

CM: Maybe.

INT: Is there anything you’ve determined that you will be doing?

CM: See that’s the best part about life; you just never know what mysteries the universe holds for us around every corner. The one predictable aspect of the future is that it is inherently unpredictable.

INT: I suppose you’re not planning on telling us the answer, then?

CM: Why ruin the surprise? The getting there is half the fun. [Chuckles]

INT: You’ve long been friends with the wookiee Moyakoshkaykrit. Could you tell us what he thinks of the current political climate?

CM: Hmm, no.

INT: Has he not expressed those thoughts to you?

CM: Yes but, not to sound egotistical, this isn’t a show about him, it is about me. If you want that answer, I suggest you ask him yourself.

INT: Unfortunately, broadcast regulations forbid live broadcast of any wookiee, even one so famous as the Ambassador.

CM: You mean ‘especially one so famous’ as he.

INT: Er, I simply mean … you’re here and …

CM: I suggest you move on to the next question.

INT: Yes, actually we have to take a quick break but, before we do, here’s some footage of your last public concert.

[Excerpt from Creeva’s last concert]

[Cut to commercial]

[Excerpt of Creeva at a children’s hospital]

INT: And we’re back with Creeva. Since you won’t comment on your friend’s opinions, could you tell how you see the current political climate?

CM: There are no politics of significance.

INT: Well, of course, in the greater scheme of life, politics is merely an activity of society and not of nature. I do understand how, in that respect, there are no politics of significance.

CM: [Chuckles] Well, as Ithorian-friendly as that sounds, I actually meant that in our current society, there are no politics of significance. There is no senate. The ultimate rulership of the galaxy falls to one man. Unless he argues with himself, there is no political environment to speak of.

INT: COMPNOR would contend the His Imperial Excellency has long promised that if the people disapprove of his leadership, he will step down. And that he has never forced anyone to do anything that wasn’t for the good of the galaxy.

CM: And what would you expect him to say?

INT: That response has been met with nothing short of an overwhelming call for him to continue.

CM: Why don’t we take a poll…

INT: There have been polls taken

CM: …on Alderaan?

INT: Uh.

CM: Let’s ask the people of Alderaan what they think.

INT: Well, again, some would say that tragedy was a direct result of terrorists commandeering a mining facility and using to hold the entire galaxy hostage.

CM: Was it really?

INT: Official reports have confirmed it.

CM: And what would you expect them to say?

INT: We’ve all seen the spectacular and tragic footage of rebel snubfighters attacking and boarding the mining station just before they turned it on that weaponless planet and massacred billions of peaceful people. Such a thing would be impossible to cover up.

CM: Perhaps that’s why there is another side to the story. As a journalist, even on a mouthpiece show like this one, you must recognize that others are telling a completely different version of those events. And, if it’s true that the government project was called: Death Star, would that be just a little … odd?

INT: Those theories were put forth by criminals and lawless terrorists. None of it can be true. That many people cannot keep that big a secret for that long a time.

CM: How many people swore on their lives that they knew exactly what happened to me? How many people tried to get money from the media by enticing them with the truth about my disappearance? How many of those people are proven completely wrong by my sitting here and talking to you?

INT: Well…

CM: Ask yourself this: If you had attained complete control of this station for several decades, where everything that was produced and broadcast was done only with your approval and then, one day, a letter came in with a bunch of signatures that said, “Please step down,” would you? Would your first reaction be, “Hey, look they don’t want me anymore, I’ll just give all these years of being in command because they don’t like me anymore?” Do you really think that’s what you’d do?

INT: I suppose I wouldn’t.

CM: In all that time, I’ll bet you would have entrenched yourself with ‘job security’ assurances, allies, doctrine and procedure. You’d use your position to further solidify itself.

INT: Maybe.

CM: Well, you’re right. It’s not true for everybody, and perhaps not for you, but what if you took your worst adversary in this station, in this entire organization and put them in the exact same position? What if you took your worst enemy in the entire galaxy and put him in that chair? What do you think he would do to protect his position?

INT: Are you saying that Imperial Highness is your worst enemy?

CM: One: You’re deflecting the question, and I’ll allow it, for your sake. Two: The Emperor is not my worst enemy. I am.

INT: How so?

CM: Nobody else in this entire galaxy could have nor can hurt me as much as I can.

INT: Is this tied to your disappearance?

CM: Perhaps. Although my disappearance is more tied to a block of cheese than anything suggested by the press. Now, that producer of yours seems about ready to burst a vessel, so I think that’s our cue.

INT: [Chuckles] Well, thank you very much for coming by, Creeva. Cryptic as you are, it’s still an absolute delight!

CM: Thanks for the invitation, it was a pleasure being here.

INT: This is [interviewer] for Diametric Parsecs. Join us next week when we explore the relationship between a planet’s weather system and a child’s personality.

[Cut to credits]