Last Night I had a Dream About My Great Grandmother

April 27, 2008

by — Posted in Family and Friends, Personal Writing

Last night was strange.   The first part being strange is that I actually had a dream that I can remember.  From my normal perspective I dream next to never.  I’m aware of the human dream mechanisms that everyone does dream, but normally I am unaware that I do it myself.

When I was living in Oregon my great grandmother passed away, unfortunately my wife never had a chance to meet her.   She was considered the “not completely normal” one of the family.   From my perspective, especially now, I can say that she was probably one fo the most normal one of the family.   She was also one of the ones most like me.   She had a voracious appetite for reading and absorbing knowledge.  She didn’t also believe in popular opinion and would find things in her own way.   I think part of her problem was she was born in the wrong era.  I think she would have been absorbed and delighted in the Internet and the way things are today.

The dream mostly consisted of a normal visit where she was staying at my grandparents.   There was just normal talking and I was my current age for whatever reason.  There was nothing contextually strange or out of place and no significant incidents occured.  When she did leave I was crying and my grandparents were questioning why I was upset.   I was going on how she had gotten her doctorate (she hadn’t IRL) and how she was a great woman.   How her views and ideas mattered.   In the dream I had almost worked myself up to a frenzy.    Then I woke up.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was my face was soaked and covered in tears.   This was one of those dreams that bled over from the dream world to the real world.   I can say I truly miss her, but I don’t think of her that often, and definitely not as often as I should.   I have a few pictures of her and they stand around being a testament of where I’ve come from.   My grandmother used to save up books and give them to me.   I still have quite a few of those books she has given me over the years.  She was a strong lady and I think that life moves on in a strange way.

Why am I writing this?  I think i just want a testament to know that I’m still not in a dream.  That this is what is real.   Grief is a hard thing to deal with and sometimes it hits you at the strangest of times.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.