My family has always talked about each other behind their backs. Back and forth, just some things don’t get said. I’m more of a lay it on the line and let it hang out. My brother and I don’t see eye to eye on most thing. I’ve already started in on my mother online. Is this however still talking behind their backs? They all have the url to my homepage. Most of my family at least check my site out in passing. I don’t see how I could be more public about it. I’m not secretive, but I also don’t send out a blaring e-mail saying “I JUST WROTE ABOUT YOU ONLINE – YOU BETTER READ IT NOW”.
The reason this comes up goes to a yahoo group I used to manage of just close friends a few years ago. I was egged into talking about another friends marital problems on the message board. These issues were not a secret. My post only stated that we should give them support in their time of need. Ironically the people that blasted me the most in regards to “talking about this other couple behind their backs” were the ones that were spreading this the most through IM and phone calls. Everyone on the list new, but it was secret since it wasn’t in the open.
This type on mentality is what pisses me off the most when it comes to the “behind the backs” argument. If everyone already knows and you speak about it publicly to get the whole thing out in the open, how is it behind their backs? Since I’ll be writing a bit about my mother, and I won’t keep any e-mail comments she sends me to myself – I’ll lay it out in the open. It won’t be behind a closed door – it will be transparent like glass. If she wishes to have a discussion in the comments where everyone can read what she has to say, the more the better. I’ll be happy to have it out in public.
This is having things out, secrets just destroy people. I share my life online because it’s cathartic. I do abide by certain rules. If you send me an email it’s more then likely not going show up on my blog. I respect and adore privacy, even when I will share so much of myself online. I love having discussions in public, if I’m wrong – show me I’m an ass. I don’t mind. I’m well aware there are consequences to all of my actions. I’ll own up to those and suffer accordingly. Let’s have it out and start a discussion. If your part of it, I definitely can not be accused of talking behind your back.