Do you know the great thing about parties? At the end of the night, once the craziness winds down, things get a little more serious. Sometimes things turn violent. In the end, you always walk away with stories. In theory, you could run around town and brag about who is addicted to meth or who just received an abortion. The normal person doesn’t. Those aren’t your stories to share (and no neither of those tidbits of information came out of the party last weekend).

I did challenge two people to share something personal on their blogs. I would happily challenge everyone, but most people don’t even attempt to blog. You can’t challenge someone to skydive that won’t even get on an airplane. Both of these people did. They both went online this week and shared a personal story about themselves. I’m proud of them for that.

Once you get through the barriers that hold you back you can tell more engaging stories. I’ve put stuff on my blog about myself where even my wife has asked “Why would you write that”. Why not? Why should I keep everything inside? I’m not worried about how I seem to others. I can live with everyone in the world knowing the stories I have shared on my blog. It is about who I am and where I have come from. If you wish to judge me because I have issues with my mother or I was bullied in school – that makes you a worse person. I’m thirty-six I could care less if you think I don’t take certain things like a man.

Let’s be fair though. I don’t share everything online. I have stories that only exist in my mind. I have stories that are only told within the family. None of this is because I am embarrassed – I just don’t need them to show up in Google searches just yet.

I have stories that I’ll hold until some people pass from this world. Those may take another fifty or sixty years – so those tales will be a long time coming. Most of those stories are only partly mine to tell, so I’ll wait until I’m the only one left that can. I have stories of underage misdeeds that could be taken out of context and limit career options – those will wait until I’m out of the workforce. If your my friend though, and I’ve told you a story – once the time is right I will be more than willing to place it here. Family secrets of course will remain family secrets.

The two people I challenged hopefully can break free of those constraints also. They should stop worrying about what people think as long as they can live with the consequences of what they reveal. That is always the trick. There are consequences. Society has created norms around us and we are freakish or weird if we reveal too much or say the wrong thing. I’m quite happy to live with the consequences of everything I write. This is something they have to learn for themselves.

Writing online about personal things isn’t something for the weak. Because you went through some trauma, depending on what it is you will be thought of as weak, or someone will sympathize with you. It actually makes you a strong person for being able to cross societal norms. You just wanted to share a tale, and it’s changed someone’s perception of you. Does that matter? To some people it does. I’m thirty-six, I don’t care. If I truly cared I would just wait until I was forty-six, then I am sure I would care less.

Once again I’m proud that they revealed a little more of themselves that was hiding behind the curtain. I’m hoping that living up to a drunken challenge doesn’t stop them from revealing more. Once you can write about the personal pains – you really are a bit freer.